Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my brother was suspended from school. He referred to himself as "Master" and two female classmates as his "bitches" in front of his teacher. He's ten years-old. What kind of family do I live in? FML
Today, my brother told my 3 year-old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML
Today, my brother deleted all traces of the novel I've been working on for three years from my laptop. The reason? When I was born I "stole all of Mum and Dad's attention." He's 24. FML
Today, my 10-year-old brother won the poem contest at his school. Since then he won’t stop bugging me with them. FML
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about isn't real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML
Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML
Today, it's been a week since my little brother took up his new hobby of posting "cool story, bro" in reply to almost every Facebook status and comment that I make. Not only do I already want to smash his face against a brick wall, my parents will ground me if I defriend any family members. FML
Today, while grading my kindergarteners' spelling tests, one kid spelled all the words wrong, including his name. FML
Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mastamouse 12
You bloody wanker
bazookajoey 27
Brothers look up to older siblings You could convince him to change the name (:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (69)
vikky538 29
did you read the books to find out that he is writing about willy wanker..
mylyfesuksDB 9
I swear this anonymous has hacked FML, have u noticed how many featured FML's he has!
Zomg_Okay 27
Anonymous is the default for when a name isn't given by the submitter.
marijuflowers 6
Holy crap, OP this sucks but it's hilarious
militarybrat 21
So for those who say "who would say YDI" my baby just hit it on accident. Op is there any way to politely tell them that it isnt appropriate for school?
buckdharma 38
Ah yes, I've read his book. Wanker used to abuse himself everyday because of loneliness. Then he met Wilma, and has it down to once a week. The End.
bogart20 13
Strangely compelling
avila_boy22 12
well he's 6, unless he meant it to, who'd know right, plus it'll be a funny moment to look back on when he is older
winimy 8
Well that's a wanker ain't it?
CanadianBaconEH 14
Oh *cum* on, the name could be worse...
ceelos97 16
Just lie and say that you did