Protein source

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

Karma delivers

Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

Gnatty

Today, I noticed I had a dead gnat stuck on my chin. This was after an hour-long appointment with a good looking doctor. FML

So romantic

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

Today, my contact ripped in half in my eye. One half fell out, but the other half got stuck too far under my eyelid. An hour and $100 later, Urgent Care finally got it. FML

Too stupid

Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

Today, after an extremely hard day at work, I took a hot shower to wind down a little bit. I accidentally splashed a painful amount of hot water and shampoo in my eyes. My left contact is now stuck to my eyeball. FML

Blow it

Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML