Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It...

By medstudent - United States

Today, it was the first time I ever saw a vagina in person. It was during medical school training on how to do a pelvic exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56261

You deserved it

9919

Favorite

Intimacy

Season finale

Instadrama

Join in the fun

By Anonymous - United States

The straights are at it again

Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1864

You deserved it

276

Favorite

By VelociTheRaptor

Today, I was leaving work after a storm. They're building some new offices outside, so I had to walk on an uneven path near the construction zone. I came to a big puddle and tried to jump across to what I thought was a piece of asphalt. It was mud. I slipped and fell backwards into the puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4117

You deserved it

749

Favorite

By funnywoe - 19/7/2020 20:01

Gratitude walks

Today, my uncle is staying with my family and he just gave me the weirdest 'gift' I've ever gotten. He gave me his used shaver. He said he realized that it's for women, but I find this disgusting. I could maybe sanitize it, but then I would have to touch the hairs on it. I had to pretend to be truly grateful for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1434

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By Marc - Hong Kong - Tsuen Wan

Today, it's been almost 2 months since I moved into my new place, and it's the first time a girl has slept in my bed. I also slept on my new couch for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29962

You deserved it

4294

Favorite

By waaah - Australia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36311

You deserved it

2725

Favorite

By purrykitty - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21788

You deserved it

40630

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, we had to discuss our heritage at school. When I told the class that I am German, Japanese, and of the Jewish faith, the teacher loudly laughs at the "irony." Something like this happens whenever I tell people my background. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38852

You deserved it

5514

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/10/2020 09:01 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Get it out!

Today, I paid movers $125 to move a couch into my house that's much too large for the space. FML

I agree, your life sucks

364

You deserved it

918

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Shepton Mallet

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd drive me to the jeweler's to pick out a ring. We drove there, I picked the ring, and the sales person rang it up. I glanced at my boyfriend, only for him to reply, "Well don't look at me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17545

You deserved it

1941

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13827

You deserved it

33612

Favorite

By skipper - United States

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47613

You deserved it

12021

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43194

You deserved it

14133

Favorite

Love sex

Today, I flew home to Germany to see my wife before I'm deployed, only to find her in bed with another guy. She explained that she wants us to stay together, but she can't take a year without being intimate with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3955

You deserved it

288

Favorite

By Crazy09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had an ultrasound tomorrow morning. With a confused look on my face, she said to me "don't worry, it's not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks

122113

You deserved it

6538

Favorite

By mountains - United States - Pembroke

Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22922

You deserved it

1804

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28441

You deserved it

4002

Favorite

By fired - United States

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10173

You deserved it

65165

Favorite

By Taylor - United States - Eastchester

Today, I shaved my legs for the first time in three weeks. It took half an hour, three disposable razors, and I cut my legs up so badly they look worse then they did when they were hairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10918

You deserved it

32788

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - El Dorado Hills

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the local park for some romantic time together. By the time we left, I'd been called a pedo and a cradle robber, and been given several dirty looks. I'm 31. My boyfriend is 30 and just very baby-faced. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33825

You deserved it

2895

Favorite

By Fox - United States

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12325

You deserved it

57443

Favorite

By StillBurning

Today, I enjoyed my favourite pizza topped with jalapeños for an extra kick. I later got to feel that kick a second time as I vomited in the middle of the night. Some came out my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3619

You deserved it

635

Favorite

By reb2632 - United States

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50970

You deserved it

12688

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my last day with my boyfriend before he went to college. At the store, he got a huge box of condoms. When I asked why he was getting so many, he said they were for the girls he meets at college. He then asked me to steal them for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42749

You deserved it

4958

Favorite

By fml9124

Hidden

Today, I saw a scorpion crawling across the kitchen floor. While trying to swat it towards the middle of the floor to prevent it from escaping as I looked for something to kill it with, my cat came to investigate. Kitty thought I was playing with a new toy and joined in by batting the scorpion under the oven. I know it's plotting its revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1252

You deserved it

142

Favorite

By popeye - United States

Today, I was trying to take the cap off a can of spray cooking oil. It was really stuck so I pulled extra hard. It flew off and I punched myself in the head. I also sprayed myself in the eye with it. The lump on my forehead and my swollen shut eye make me look like Popeye, but I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24018

You deserved it

5325

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my dominant hand. My teacher insists we hand-write our essays. I called and asked if it was okay for me to type up the essays. She said no. I have two essays due tomorrow, which count for half my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35253

You deserved it

3571

Favorite

By Rella

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1944

You deserved it

1163

Favorite

By Tooyoungforthis - United States - Arvada

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32313

You deserved it

2284

Favorite

By hopeless - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and refused to give me back the condoms I'd just bought. Why? Because she wants to use them with the guys she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55187

You deserved it

4254

Favorite

By CaBur - United States - Los Angeles

Today, at work I got in an elevator to go upstairs. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later and people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out and forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator and waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10298

You deserved it

26995

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Roanoke

Today, I woke up with a swollen lump on my throat. It's extremely painful. My dad named it Gretchen and now talks about it as if it's a person. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30870

You deserved it

2620

Favorite

By Insomnia

Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2221

You deserved it

173

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23745

You deserved it

2006

Favorite

By Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I got diagnosed with a condition that expresses itself in the form of violent diarrhea whenever I get nervous. Now I am constantly nervous about getting nervous about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47390

You deserved it

2871

Favorite

By chloeguest97 - United Kingdom

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41198

You deserved it

8097

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I've been playing too much Call of Duty. I started screaming, "Spawn, bitch! Spawn!" at my microwavable pizza while it was in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14267

You deserved it

55958

Favorite

By Tallow101 - United States

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56699

You deserved it

6625

Favorite

By sucksforme. - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64984

You deserved it

6323

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1773

You deserved it

688

Favorite

By effmylife - United States

Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45299

You deserved it

3633

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By lalapooh_fml | 0

#19443 - Saturday 7 March 2009 7:19

its ok dude
just because all these ppl have WAY too muchh experience doesnt mean something is wrong with you
ur cool :D

By Dr_Phil | 0

#265 - Thursday 5 February 2009 13:27

You should go to a strip club.

COMMENTS

By Dr_Phil | 0

#265 - Thursday 5 February 2009 13:27

You should go to a strip club.

By greenman_fml | 0

#332 - Thursday 5 February 2009 20:12

so you've never seen yours. pussy

TheApocalypse | 5

#4596826 - Thursday 21 June 2012 22:05

OP is a guy.

By emainiac | 0

#364 - Friday 6 February 2009 2:50

Drawing class at my $26k a year school. FML

By casanova_fml | 0

#2982 - Tuesday 17 February 2009 12:59

this is why EVERYONE should remember...."if it feels like more than two fingers...it's probably a dick"

By Kulawend | 0

#3127 - Wednesday 18 February 2009 0:03

*Heavy sigh/shakes head* Epic fail

By Eir_fml | 1

#4175 - Friday 20 February 2009 1:51

I... wouldn't be entirely surprised if this happens to be in a few years.

By Eir_fml | 1

#4178 - Friday 20 February 2009 1:54

erm. I meant "me". too late to edit.

By tux_fml | 0

#4199 - Friday 20 February 2009 2:18

that's awesome hahahahahaha wait till you do your OB rotation and see their vag wrip to their ass hole, yummy!

By Bluelake3 | 0

#5762 - Monday 23 February 2009 9:28

thats a little sad....

By Gio_fml | 6

#6871 - Wednesday 25 February 2009 3:55

Get a girl dude.