Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. I was a smartass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred, "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, I overheard my mom, who quit smoking years ago, saying that I am the only person who stresses her out badly enough to want to smoke a cigarette. I have never once tried to stress her out, and in fact I do everything I can to make her life easier. She works in retail. FML
Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML
Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML
Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the driveway, hitting my leg, and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
Tell her a joke about her lungs.
FFML_314 12
Bitch slap her back.
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Comments (124)
Gellfling 0
The only way this could get better is if she kicked you down the stairs and yelled, " THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" just saying :P. sucks for you though, im sorry
tchaikovsky93 0
LOOOOOL!!!
sincerely331 0
That's abuse. She slapped the shit out of yu just for a stupid joke? Not to mention, she slapped yu down the stairs...
amberu95 0
ha irs okk my mom had to wair a few hours before she could get to smoke and i was talking to her whenshe was waiting and she told me if i didnt shut upp she was gonna shoot me lol. and my mom is the nicest person you will ever meet lol
Splayd 10
You spelled realized wrongly.
goawayy 19
actually he used the English spelling
anton4223 3
could you picture that? "hey mom! knock knock" "who's there?" "lung cancer" *Boom* right down the stairs
Kaylaj667 1
LmfaoXD and I agree with #3
Harle 24
Try having a father who's been smoking since he was 12 and is about to turn 56. I can't even talk him into smoking one less pack a day.
HatemyLife32 15
Haha
melanie_c_g 13
crazy ass bitch..