Love: Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because...

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 14 923

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 31/01/2013 04:02 - Canada - Fergus

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 641

You deserved it 28 891

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 1 040

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

By Sir Smokalot - 24/09/2009 08:05 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 231

You deserved it 2 893

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 631

You deserved it 73 935

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 254

Damn, son…

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 378

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 948

You deserved it 4 014

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 486

Hello, 911? Crazy person in my house

By Xxvc67 - 22/06/2022 22:00

Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 2 403

killak41 9

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:05

Those damn couches...always getting in the way of falling candles

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:07

I'd take a burnt couch over smelling cigarettes in my house any day.

Comments

Emmaburger 2

Wednesday 2 November 2011 23:11

WOW...WHAT A FAIL ;) that made me laugh....then my mom came upstairs, looked at me laughing at the comp. and was like WTF? XD

JakeTha_A01 5

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:21

OMG!, not gonna lie but that is funny hahaha

SemperFi_23 6

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:35

Cocaine's a hell of a drug.

bacon_ftw 5

Thursday 3 November 2011 1:53

Like a boss

ea247 20

Thursday 3 November 2011 2:45

Can you say irony

juliaspencer 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 3:59

Watch what your doing next time , stupid bitch lol

j_cat187 19

Thursday 3 November 2011 5:30

Op's boyfriend should hotbox his car

skyiscool 0

Thursday 3 November 2011 5:41

Its Rastafari voodoo. let him have his ganja

rarrar321 3

Thursday 3 November 2011 6:50

When I first read the fml, I thought it said she lit his crotch on fire.

funnyshizz69 2

Thursday 3 November 2011 8:08

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son is a real ass. My mother died and he literally only booked off half a day to attend his own grandmother's funeral, doesn’t plan to spend time with me after the burial, and since he booked it, all he has done is complain about the three meetings he’s going to miss that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 500

You deserved it 270

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 312

You deserved it 8 291

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 189

You deserved it 3 428

Today, I was berated by a pharmacist, who said that kids these days are on so many unnecessary medications for "fake diseases". I was just trying to pick up the medication I've been prescribed to control my epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 888

You deserved it 2 951

Today, I saw a spot on my computer screen. I tried to use my finger to rub it off. Then, I tried using my nail. Then I tried to windex it off. I continued scratching at it with my nail. A half hour and one scratched screen later, I realized the spot was part of the webpage I was looking at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 763

You deserved it 68 568

Today, I asked my group via Discord if we had a meeting with the professor we're working with on a project. I got to chatting with someone else regarding the class we had just gotten out of, and forget to check the Discord until hours later, realizing one of my group mates had said yes, and that I had missed it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 1 295