Love: Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because...

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 570

You deserved it 14 923

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 31/01/2013 04:02 - Canada - Fergus

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 641

You deserved it 28 891

By Firequeen - 21/11/2016 21:44

Today I visited my boyfriend's house for Thanksgiving. The fast food from the drive made me really need to poop, so I did my business and flipped on the air vent. Turns out the vent sparked a hot spot in the attic and caused a fire. I literally set my boyfriend's house on fire with my shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 1 040

Sick burn

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 502

You deserved it 8 202

By Sir Smokalot - 24/09/2009 08:05 - France

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. When we got there, I hugged his mother, and she glared at me. Later that day, I heard her telling her son that he should leave me because I smell like cigarettes, and she hates smokers. I don't smoke, my boyfriend does. He did all the way there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 231

You deserved it 2 893

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 631

You deserved it 73 935

Fire hazard

By Anonymous - 26/09/2020 17:11

Today, my boyfriend thought it was OK for both of us to leave the house with the oven on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 254

Damn, son…

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 378

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 948

You deserved it 4 014

Technically…

By I followed her orders! - 04/12/2023 07:00 - United States

Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 486

Hello, 911? Crazy person in my house

By Xxvc67 - 22/06/2022 22:00

Today, I was attempting to trash my cheating boyfriend’s house. While I was pouring gasoline all over his belongings, he decided to come home early with the little homewrecker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 2 403

killak41 9

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:05

Those damn couches...always getting in the way of falling candles

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 2 November 2011 19:07

I'd take a burnt couch over smelling cigarettes in my house any day.

Comments

Donniehw 5

Saturday 5 November 2011 17:59

What?!? How'd I get #103 when the person the comment before me was #101?!?

Brettersson 0

Saturday 5 November 2011 23:34

Honey, please, no arson in the house, I don't want it to smell like a pile of ash

octopussperm125 18

Thursday 10 November 2011 2:37

Karma. Deal wit smoke

xTheSaint 2

Monday 14 November 2011 18:03

Thats what you get for being a bitch.

fireeyes23 0

Tuesday 15 November 2011 3:03

You should move to WVU :) we appreciate your couch burning desires and skills here

duncanbaseball 0

Friday 25 November 2011 6:09

Like a boss.

jackie195 5

Friday 30 March 2012 1:15

Smooth

Euronymous93 29

Wednesday 7 August 2013 3:39

Karma's only a bitch if you are.

KittieTetaz520 15

Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:46

Oh the irony

KittieTetaz520 15

Wednesday 5 October 2016 9:50

Well if it was cigarettes he was smoking that would be understandable. If it was 420 I don't see what the ish is

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The Top

Today, It was pretty nice out, so I decided to walk to work. Not twenty minutes after leaving, it started to pour. I was soaking when I got there and had to change. My boyfriend works next door, so I asked him if he could give me a ride. His reply? "Sorry Babe, I just can't be seen with you like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 658

You deserved it 4 444

Today, I watched my car roll backwards on the freeway, while attached to the tow truck that I was sitting in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 549

You deserved it 2 472

Today, my mom asked me to back up her phone. When I downloaded all of her pictures and checked to make sure they were all saved, I accidentally saw the topless photos she's been sexting my dad. I can erase the files, but not the images in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 734

You deserved it 795

Today, I'm upset by my dating life. I want to be with a man romantically, but none I've met so far have worked out. Too dumb or boring or mean, so I've tried some dating sites. All my matches were with women, so I went on a date with one to "find out." Is it good or bad that I liked her more than any man so far? FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 336

Today, I avoided planning an event for three years. I was saved by COVID in 2021, and 2020. It's now supposed to be happening next week, and I haven’t done anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 1 359

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 974

You deserved it 10 692