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That's almost as bad as waking up with an earwig in your ear. People say that its a myth that they crawl into your ears, but trust me they do. Its happened to me twice.
This would be more of an FML if your boyfriend wasn't hilarious.
How does he know it didn't see the world before dying?
That'll happen here. Just gotta butch up and let them live. (I can't talk. I screamed like a little girl the first time a flying roach landed on me. Bastard)
too bad you cant squish a cockroach that easily. especially without you waking up.
So what? It was just a cockroach. They're not as gross as people think.
And then he dumped you.
hahah I like him for some reason
Keywords
Well, it didn't.
Your boyfriend is retarded. The cockroach was CLEARLY backpacking.