Holidays: Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered...

By alainopotato - 02/01/2017 11:03 - United States - San Diego

Today, I woke up in a bathtub, completely soaked and covered in both mine and someone else's puke. Happy New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 448

You deserved it 5 415

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By JustADream - 24/02/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 568

You deserved it 9 463

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 155

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 269

You deserved it 12 018

By wookieewhosshe - 26/06/2019 14:03

Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 451

You deserved it 614

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 1 857

Drunk

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 17:59

Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 1 531

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 124

You deserved it 46 968

By CK95 - 01/01/2015 23:02 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 832

You deserved it 8 040

By NotANaturist - 01/01/2010 14:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 804

You deserved it 41 899

By Embarassed - 10/09/2009 05:32 - Canada

Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 579

You deserved it 8 109

airdude25 18

Tuesday 3 January 2017 6:40

You should probably learn your limit. Although accidents do happen and that sucks. But YDI.

niftyismybitch 21

Tuesday 3 January 2017 6:43

what a stroke of luck...just turn it on and have a bath.

Comments

aggoden_bed 9

Tuesday 3 January 2017 9:42

How do you find out the difference between your puke and someone else's puke?

pjsr 32

Tuesday 3 January 2017 23:29

Probably chunks in there of stuff OP didn't eat. However, with being this drunk, I'm not sure how OP would know what he ate.

STFU01 14

Wednesday 4 January 2017 1:49

That's what I was going to ask? Different colors?

spoon69x 5

Wednesday 4 January 2017 6:37

Digestive acids probably tasted different......

Bogrbon 27

Wednesday 4 January 2017 3:26

So you totally deserved your own puke, but the other person's does kind of suck.

anormalperson 25

Sunday 8 January 2017 19:36

Hey, but it seems like you had fun at a party, I mean the puke bit sucks but at least you had fun :)

sxdryv 14

Thursday 4 January 2018 20:14

how do u know it's someone else's?

Keywords

Music Boredom Transportation Annoying Awkward Cars Embarrassing Relatable Babysitter Kids Family Thief Money Food Miscellaneous Gross Farts Depression Mental health Health Weird Creepy Pregnancy AITA Facebook Star Wars Social Media Wanker Work Bodyshaming

The Top

Today, I woke up to my significant other talking in his sleep and soulfully professing his love for Stephanie. My name is not Stephanie. The only Stephanie he knows is a girl he worked at a hotel with over 10 years ago. He has done this at least twice a week since then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 102

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE ILLUSTRATED FMLMeghan's website : http://www.kawaiinot.com/ & http://www.murphypop.com/ If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. Bu...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

The Top

Today, I was driving when this guy aggressively rode my tail and crossed over the yellow line to pass. He reached the stop light before I did, and I slowly pulled beside him and started clapping for this lunatic driver. He rolled down the window and said, "My daughter is in the hospital. How do I get there?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 1 064

Today, I, an extreme social introvert, who can’t stand being around people for more than 10 minutes, has just been diagnosed with an incurable brain disorder that will increasingly require other people to be around me to monitor me and run my life. All of which, to me, feels worse than having the disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 148

Today, my now-ex broke up with me after alleging that I cheated on her. I didn't do anything, for the record. When I told my sister about it, she showed me a screenshot of an Instagram story where my ex was tagged, two weeks before leaving me. My ex was actually making out with another dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 89

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 529

You deserved it 23 308

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 613

You deserved it 5 858

Today, I was rummaging about in the pantry. When I turned to walk away, the heavy pantry door fell off, struck me in the back of the head, and the wood surrounding the doorknob cracked. When my mom came home, she accused me of "property damage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 114

Same thing different taste

The gift

Drunk

Partaaaaay!

Top comments

Comments