Today, I woke up happy because I'd met the man of my dreams at a bar. We had shared an amazing night together. I walked around my apartment, wondering where he'd went. Turns out, he was gone. So was my car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML
Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I woke up early, showered, dressed, and made the 40 minute drive to work, only to discover when I arrived that today was my day off. When I got home my live in boyfriend was gone. I called and he told me he was at the beach, right near my work. FML
Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML
Today, after months of dinners, coffees, drinks, and a few nights together, the girl of my dreams told me about this awesome guy she met yesterday. FML
Today, my car broke down. Yesterday, my husband mentioned he found my dream car for sale, but I'd insisted my car had a lot of miles left and we should save money. They sold my dream car this morning. Now I'm carless. FML
Today, I met a girl at the bar. Things were going really well and we ended up going back to her place. Problem? Her husband who normally works the graveyard shift was home sick. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
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Top comments
thisismyname_fml 1
Bringing a stranger into your apartment after one night of seeing him in bar? Instead of "FML my car was stolen" it should be "Thank God I wasn't raped, beaten, and left for dead."
Edmund_Dantes 0
Any story that starts out "I met the man of my dreams at a bar" is something you deserved.
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Comments (62)
Havin 19
If you're THAT dumb, yes.
rachilio 26
Was it Barney from how I met ur mom
GetTheFuckOut 7
You obviously deserve it for sleeping with someone you just met. Nice goin', hoe.
heyyyjune 11
I thought it was going to say "then I remembered it was just a dream" haha
UnicornInSpace 6
That would be an AWESOME movie!
Grauncho 27
And what did we learn today?
puddingface94 3
Yes. Because bars are just the greeeeatest place to meet. Wait, my parents met at a bar.... Well, I still make my point.
In_some_bullshit 13
Really thought mean if dreams from a bar??
lovinloki 9
The man of your dreams isn't gonna sleep with you the first time you meet him honey
EmDizzle2007 28
update: he came back. he'd just gone out to get breakfast.