Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back, the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really constipated? That's the best lie you could come up with? How about being accosted by 6 ninjas in the hallway, and you narrowly escaped them with your life? If you're going to lie, at least make it a good one that doesn't make you look like a complete idiot.
Lennsik 4
Well it appears that situation went down the toilet.
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Comments (99)
dmayhemc 0
next time remember that subjecting someone to revealing something that personal about themselves in such a public manner is inapproriate. tell the teacher that you have the ACLU on speed dial. :)
ALBATROSS9080 0
that's happened to me
sensboltsfan84 4
Next time, how about you kids actually pay attention in class instead of running off to play a stupid game. I understand that you hate school, but slacking off will only bite you in the ass in the end. say goodbye to college and a good job now if you plan on keeping this up.
sietseld 13
YDI. I used to teach and this generation drives me crazy. It's like nobody can sit still in class for 50 minutes without texting their friends, facebooking, or playing games on their electronic devices. It's outright rude, not to mention disruptive to learning.
RoBeRtA_fml 1
I agree 100%..........the kids really drive me nuts with the cell phones. But the worst thing is, it's the parents fault for buying them. Dumb parents = Dumb kids!!
Karnezar 2
Well, before that it was hangman and tic-tac-toe, or just plain doodling that would occupy the students so they wouldn't do their work :S And before that, it was baseball cards (when it was all the rage and kids rushed home to hear the games on their radios). Dunno what was before that, but it was punishable by being hit with a ruler.
helpmee 0
i have done the same thing many times but I would say I got sick and go home
SoIFML 0
Why did you all get so worked up about this? Chill. And to the ex-teachers above, seriously? Do not try and patronise "this generation", we all know that your generation did some pretty bad stuff in their time. Yes, i don't know which generation you belong to, nor do I care, but if you think you're cool using acronyms like "YDI", then you're clearly trying to assimilate to our generation, which is just pathetic. Oh, and by the way, I'm an English Language and Drama student who's just been offered conditionals to all of his universities, and as I'm not American and therefore actually study and use correct English, that is impressive. Arrogance? Nope, confidence. ;)
Master_Of_Awsome 0
one day i went to the bathroom and locked the stall and started using the schools wi fi on my i phone then i came back here are my exact words first my thoughts ( i took 30 mins in there) thoughts: just say #2 and ur in but that was to easy i said sorry i had to take a gaint dunk the students laughed a said hey uh shut up before i throw my boxers in ur faces they shut up
Angi95 3
okay first off it's monopoly one last a week. there is no way ur getting out in five minutes. next time say ur having family issues and didnt want to be caught crying in class. at least that is not as embarrassing as constipation
Todayi 0
someones a bit of a loser
kingdomhearts3 0
Dumbass teacher for asking, what did she think you were going to say...she made you explain that you were constipated, stupid teacher...But, if you happen to find yourself in this situation again, given that you're a guy, tell the teacher "My piss has a long distance to travel." Or something like that..