Today, I went to the toilet during drama class, not because I had to actually go, but because I wanted to play Monopoly on my iPod. I lost track of time and came back twenty minutes later. My whole class listened while I was forced to tell my teacher I'd been really constipated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
Today, I was having a mass lecture, for 3 classes combined, all microphones muted. I wanted to go to the toilet, so I connected my headphones, and I did my job massively while listening to the teacher. Suddenly, the teacher said, "Oh, close your mic for the love of god." 85 students heard me taking a shit. FML
Today, our school got portable classrooms for the construction on our school. I had to take a dump really bad, and had to use the built in bathroom. As I was in there I heard laughing. Turns out, every sound you make is an entire broadcast to the class. FML
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back, the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I was at my Mandarin teacher's house. I had diarrhoea and had to go to the toilet. My mum texted me while I was still in the toilet saying, "We all heard you". FML
Today, I have a condition that when I get nervous, I get horrible diarrhea. I was taking an online math test worth a huge portion of my grade when I felt the rumble. Turning off the camera is an automatic fail, so I had to take my laptop to the bathroom with me. The teacher kicked me out of class. FML
Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Really constipated? That's the best lie you could come up with? How about being accosted by 6 ninjas in the hallway, and you narrowly escaped them with your life? If you're going to lie, at least make it a good one that doesn't make you look like a complete idiot.
Lennsik 4
Well it appears that situation went down the toilet.
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Comments (99)
slushyslime 7
U make me Proud!!! I'm not kidin !!
rkrkrkrk 0
Umm this was already on MLIA?
rkrkrkrk 0
Wasn't that on MLIA? But that's hillarious (:
amandadontstalk 0
hahaha wow fail(:
toughchick14 15
Karma!
XxQuartersxX 14
You could have grown a pair and told the truth. Like, "Yeah, I was playing Monopoly on my cellphone, the ***** it to ya?" But you made yourself look like a weirdo instead. Ydi.
tiffi_is_spiffi 1
Again if you just used your brain it wouldn't be a big deal. Coming back 20 minutes later everyone already knows you were taking a crap so why go in there and say you have been constipated? How about I'm sorry my stomachs bothering me today. Problem solved
Mira Lux 26
Only if you had my Drama class, then you could be on your Ipod/phone no matter what during class.
ifuckuprandomly 28
At least you can watch the TT!