Love: Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound... - FML

By Whyme - 09/01/2012 06:14 - United States

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 283

You deserved it 6 491

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Same thing different taste

Great date, thanks!

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 18:50 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with a girl at the movies. Trying to be polite, I held in a fart until an intense, loud action scene came on. As soon as I let go, the scene went silent and my fart was clearly heard to everyone in the movie theatre. My date went to the bathroom. She didn't come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 975

You deserved it 83 977

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 581

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 615

You deserved it 30 207

By thecarisfine - 14/03/2015 04:27 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 896

You deserved it 8 340

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 011

By Smirky - 13/02/2017 02:30 - India - Bangalore

Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 639

You deserved it 1 718

By anonymous - 17/12/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 519

Maybe he's into that...

By pissypants - 25/11/2017 19:00

Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my dates popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 3 503

By sheyo - 05/03/2009 01:13 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 315 068

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 835

You deserved it 5 272

Next

Top comments

Lauren324 18

Monday 9 January 2012 11:59

That's sweet, in a disgusting way...

Amrel 10

Monday 9 January 2012 12:01

The next step to loving a man, is to love his farts

Comments

wegetrz 14

Tuesday 10 January 2012 6:57

what...a keeper.

nvo 6

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:13

He got your back - stinky or not.

Rhupert 3

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:13

Sounds like he's a keeper!

littlemsweirdo 12

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:29

This ones a keeper:)

madturk93 2

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:30

Its sweet of him showing love and care by backing ur mistakes.. He is a keeper..

ckhid_fml 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 7:58

thats disgusting!

cmac86 23

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:45

We're you the only two in the theater? I'll bet you were after that move he made.

dodzin 9

Tuesday 10 January 2012 9:47

Run baby run away from this crap

theonlysweetpea 10

Tuesday 10 January 2012 12:26

Keep him! He's compassionate!

Brettersson 0

Tuesday 10 January 2012 19:45

True love

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I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 270

You deserved it 4 534

The Top

Today, I was startled by my roommate marching a drunk man out of our apartment. Somehow he found his way in complete darkness into the bathroom without alerting me or my dog next to the only door. He mistook the clothes hamper for the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 828

You deserved it 2 874

Today, it's now the third week my boyfriend's best friend has been sleeping on our bedroom floor because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions back at his parents' place. My boyfriend sees no problem with this, and says he can stay and live off us as long as he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 430

You deserved it 297

Today, I was lying on the couch when saw the Airheads commercial where a jump-roping construction worker falls and lands on his nuts and says, in a deadpan tone, "Oh my goodness." A few minutes later, my cat jumped from the table and landed on my nuts, and I said, "Oh my goodness" with the very same inflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 284

Today, I woke up to a voicemail from my manager saying I had the day off. Excited, I made plans with my friends. A few minutes ago I got a call from my other manager yelling at me for not showing up, and the original manager revealed he had me confused with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 767

You deserved it 2 247

Today, I posted an ad online for house cleaning services. So far, all fifteen responses have been solicitations for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 556

You deserved it 4 350

Today, I got a new, short haircut. Now I look like my little brother who died two years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 124