Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I farted in a public pool and watched in horror as bubbles of death gas floated up beside my son who started calling me the fart monster in front of everyone. FML
Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML
Today, while sitting on the couch with my husband, I farted quietly. Not a big deal, except it's hot out and our fan was blowing in his face, and it stunk. FML
Today, my dad read that if you pass gas from both ends at the same time it will create a vacuum inside your body and you'll implode. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML
Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML
Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
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Top comments
peve3 12
Now you can say you've also been in a gas chamber simulator.
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
15, I wanted to make you aware that your profile pictute bears some resemblance to Justin Bieber. If I were you, I would change it.
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Comments (90)
noatak 6
Oh, how gross.
jsp16 24
Did he play the tune of "smoke on the water," with his farts?
nchic01 17
stinks to be you!
Meettitan 14
Maybe if you light a match it will turn into a fire hurricane?
cometkeeper00 3
or maybe it will blow out as soon as you light it, because it's a hurricane.
revelation11B 10
..."And the hurricane said to the palm-tree, 'Hang on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary ********.'"
pbnjrox 10
Toot toot
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
15, I wanted to make you aware that your profile pictute bears some resemblance to Justin Bieber. If I were you, I would change it.
Enslaved 38
Butt doesn't that mean the smell didn't linger?
dachayke 16
I think this is the only time I've ever hoped something was a typo.
cometkeeper00 3
Why? Why would that mean that at all? How would swirling the same air around in a small environment lead to it not lingering?
Federgirl 19
eww, that so stinks!! LOL!!
slippyjones 2
Scrotumblaster