Today, I went to TGI Friday's with my crush. At the end of our meal, the waitress gave us mints with the bill. He said something that made me laugh, and I began choking on my mint. After a few coughs, I finally managed to get it out. It hit him in the forehead and landed in his drink. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, while at a restaurant with my boyfriend, a piece of ice got stuck in my throat. I couldn't get his attention until after it melted because he was busy checking in on foursquare. When he finally noticed my freaking out and I told him what had happened, he laughed. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML
Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over him. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
If he still wants to hang out with you after being hit in the face by projectile mints he's clearly into you. I applaud you for pioneering new ways of finding out if someone likes you.
pizz0wn3d 0
10 points!
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Comments (115)
KryptoniteKiss 0
Hahaha, what did you say?
too_much_fun 0
She said, "Yes! Off the dashboard and into the basket" ;)
humorizer 14
WHO TOLD THE FUNNY JOKE?! I dunno if it was the waiter or the boyfriend, because the he is being used ambigiously through the the story. Cursecakes.
atruegem 0
See, this is what happens when you reply to the #1 comment to show off what kind of smartass you are. And then you fail for everybody to see. They had a WAITRESS, the OP is a WOMAN and a *he* told the joke and the mint hit a *him* on the head. What is ambiguous about that? There is no doubt it was the crush. Next time you want to be a smartass, try harder
divineinstrument 2
What's up your ass #24? Or are you always a jackass?
atruegem 0
no, I am only a jackass when I come across dumbsters like #22 whose attention span doesn't even last for the duration of reading through a 300 character FML in a way that allows them to actually GRASP the situation.
Nightmenace 0
dont u mean backboard? lol
genius_man16 1
No, he definitely meant dashboard.
Drakon_fml 7
To be fair, 22, just because the OP has a crush on a guy doesn't automatically make the OP a girl. Just sayin' that you shouldn't try to be a smartass.
GrapefruitZoe 0
But it says she's a woman. And I don't think this an FML. Ouch, but oh well. Funny, anyway.
brittrox 0
it was a waitress...which means the he was her crush
Eli0 0
It must have come out of your mouth with a lot of force...esp if you didnt use the heimlich
killerviral 0
shoulda gave him a bj in the parking lot lol southpark
YourMiserableBoy 0
Today, while at dinner with my girlfriend, I told a joke and she started choking on her mint like an idiot. she then spit it out and it him me in the face and landed in my drink. FML.
EvilCupcake8361 9
# 14 is a win:)
MwahFMLS 6
Geez no need to get your panties in a wad #24
jillianmathers12 13
Let's hope that it was pop because they have free refills!
lebronesque73091 12
Guys would probably get over it easier than girls. You'll be fine :)
soulfhood24 0
FYL
pizz0wn3d 0
10 points!
ariannaa_fml 17
for Grifindor!
PaulZindelLover 4
I love TGI Fridays
tiffanyro 0
LOL.
lemon_lime_12 0
oh wow.. that really sucks for you. =/
my_fml_account 2
If he still wants to hang out with you after being hit in the face by projectile mints he's clearly into you. I applaud you for pioneering new ways of finding out if someone likes you.
duckgirl18 0
I dont get how so many people say you deserve it?????? But nice aim for his head, I'm sure he thanked you for it!
snackeyg 0
If I was that guy I would have though it was gross but still funny.
Zomlette 0
I would have found that hilarious. I mean, you could've sneezed on him or something. But you launched a projectile mint instead. Thats an awesome story.
sika_fml 0
Epic Win!