Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML
Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon, after I'd explained to her how scared I was of The Exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, marks the fourth straight night that my girlfriend has screamed and cried in fear, scratching and kicking me in her sleep. The reason? I took her to see Paranormal Activity 3. FML
Today, I asked a girl I like to the movies. Wanting her to lean on me and stay in my arms during the movie, I chose a horror film. I screamed like a pussy the whole time. FML
Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I pissed myself. FML
Today, I watched Paranormal Activity, which is known to be "the scariest film ever." After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML
Today, I went to a "haunted" theme park. Actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
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Top comments
kalixzo 11
That's why you never see scary movies with your mom!
MrXerxes5 6
That's when you should've jumped up out of fear and flung your drink all over them.
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Comments (127)
ishida1235 0
Wow for getting scared over stuff that is fake and having no chance to have something actually happen
mj_ok 9
That was mean, next time make sure her arm hits him!
leadman1989 16
The PERSON behind us... Who says it's a guy?
minktheshrink 0
General English grammar says the use of him is acceptable when sex is unknown. Too many people make a big deal over this debate. Does it REALLY matter? No. And, it's easier to say "his" rather than "his or her".
leadman1989 16
How hard is it to say THEM?
minktheshrink 0
Them is improper because it was one person who scared the mom. Them is plural.
perdix 31
I'll bet that person could predict the future and knew psychically that you'd get punched. That's some bonus Paranormal Activity for free!
mea_iloveskiing 26
Too bad your mom isn't as brave as betty white
leadman1989 16
The only things that scare me are in my head and they become stronger once I'm asleep. *sits in corner rocks gently
FYLDeep 26
Screaming in people's ears? Whatever happened to jackasses in the movie theater just texting on their phones and talking to their friends? These are grim times we're in.
bizarre_ftw 22
Strong stomached mother you got there.
Randomnessmoi 0
Which is why I never watch movies with my family...
nomie89 5
Umm seriously?That movie was a comedy...you deserved it.
KiddNYC1O 22
What did they scream? "Micaaaahhhh!!!"?