Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on its back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend is furious with me because while I was watching her various fish for two weeks, I failed to feed her favorite fish and it died. The reason I didn't take care of it was because she never told me she had it, that it was in her room unlike the rest of the fish, so I never saw it. FML
Today, I woke up to find my best friend lying down and unresponsive. Frightened, I tapped on the glass. He got scared and started swimming again. My best friend is a fish. FML
Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML
Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML
Today, was very chilly. My little sister felt sorry for my two goldfish swimming in the cold water. She decided to put them in hot water. They died. FML
Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML
Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML
Today, my 9 year-old little sister is coming back to town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML
Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML
Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML
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Top comments
levitate 3
Fortune tellers are full of BS. & you're just a neglectful goldfish owner. (:
TigressUK 0
A fish doesn't die if it isn't fed for three days. It must have had something else wrong with it.
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Comments (162)
saxplayer9291 3
The FYL should be the fact that's ur closet friend
attaboy368 20
I better go feed my fish then huh?
kitkat98_fml 0
Goldfish can survive without food for three weeks! Must've een something else..
Fuzzymonkey2013 7
I don't know what's sadder, the fact that you spend your money on a fortune teller, or the fact that one of your closest friends is a fish....
doglover100 29
Well your human friends are alive.
xXNerrrdXx 16
For believing a fortune teller ,HAH! xD
rocker_chick23 27
Let me guess, you had the goldfish in a goldfish bowl and never did water changes. Goldfish get over a foot long and need at least a 75 gallon tank. I won a goldfish at the fair when I was 10 and he is still alive and happy in a 100 gallon tank.
MPDFML 8
"Um... maybe "closest" meant in distance...?" "Or maybe you have no friends, but we both doubt this."
writerchic85 26
Fish generally can live a long time without food. I doubt it was specifically you not feeding it that killed it. I bet it was kept in a bowl with no filtration.
LoyalSatanist666 13
This one is good. Its now favorited. Seriously though you suck at having pets.