Today, I wanted to pack my lunch with some of my homemade meatloaf... - FML

By "BunnysKitty" - 10/7/2017 22:30 - United States - Columbia City

Today, I wanted to pack my lunch with some of my homemade meatloaf leftover from last night's dinner, but I couldn't find it anywhere in my fridge. Later in the evening, my boyfriend's parents invited us over for dinner. They served meatloaf. The meatloaf they stole from my fridge last night when they visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5662

You deserved it

332

Tweet

Share

You can't win sometimes

Nice neighborhood

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 21/9/2012 19:10 - United States - Clinton

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25947

You deserved it

4733

Tweet

Share

By Me - 20/12/2016 01:40 - United States - Canyon Lake

Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8816

You deserved it

1171

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/3/2014 05:03 - United States

Today, I set up a small social gathering for a few friends. One of them didn't have a ride, so the others, who'd already shown up, went to go give him a ride. After no sign of them for a whole hour, I called to see what was wrong. They went out to eat and completely forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49055

You deserved it

4342

Tweet

Share

By ...... - 16/5/2012 22:29 - United States

Today, I was in the hospital with rib injuries after being rear-ended by a truck. The doc said, "Well, you'll probably feel like you've been hit by a truck for a while." Everyone laughed, except me. When I said he was being insensitive, he replied, "Calm down, I'm just ribbing you." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18396

You deserved it

32057

Tweet

Share

By _RobotInDisguise - 9/12/2009 23:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52629

You deserved it

2925

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36797

You deserved it

3097

Tweet

Share

By BiteMe14 - 7/1/2011 19:10 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39663

You deserved it

7350

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/12/2013 21:06 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out that I am bleeding from my cervix and must refrain from having sex for the next two weeks. My fiancé pointedly asked if my cervix has anything to do with my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56851

You deserved it

10923

Tweet

Share

By pottie69 - 7/9/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that I'm now afraid to add people on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29553

You deserved it

7126

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/4/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67783

You deserved it

9794

Tweet

Share

By nightDREAMERms - 23/4/2011 14:55 - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48572

You deserved it

7474

Tweet

Share

By Ryan - 18/12/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was taking an important exam for Calculus. Out of nowhere, the kid behind me starts violently kicking my desk. I quickly turn around and yell at him. He was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33400

You deserved it

10865

Tweet

Share

By Mel - 23/5/2009 06:43 - United States

Today, I thought I'd finally make a step towards getting over my ex-fiancé by flirting with a cute waiter. I left him a note on the bill. He comes back, says "which one of you is [name]?" and leans down close to me to say, "Thanks for your note, but your card was declined." FML

I agree, your life sucks

52725

You deserved it

8030

Tweet

Share

By DarkPhoenix - 4/12/2008 11:16 - France

Today, I'm heading towards my car clutching a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend, when along comes a sweet old lady who says: "it's not flowers she wants, it's some lovin'!". The elderly sure aren't what they used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27665

You deserved it

3633

Tweet

Share

By wounded pride, intact cock - 17/1/2015 18:49 - United States

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32504

You deserved it

6725

Tweet

Share

By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - 1/6/2017 15:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving up to a Four Seasons, not to stay, but to attend a work event that was already paid for. I did look a little out of place in my Toyota Corolla amongst the luxury SUVs, but was nonplussed when a man came up to me, knocked on my window, and said, "The Motel 6 is over there." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4635

You deserved it

314

Tweet

Share

By Savannah - 1/8/2011 21:20 - United States

Today, my dad confessed that the only reason I'm alive today is because he couldn't afford to pay for an abortion. He couldn't afford it because he'd splashed out on brand new furniture at IKEA shortly before discovering my mom was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39939

You deserved it

2912

Tweet

Share

By choldcreations - 7/3/2010 14:12 - United States

Today, I was eating pizza with my girlfriend. She got sauce on the corner of her mouth so I tried to be sexy and lick it off. It wasn't sauce, it was a cluster of zits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21993

You deserved it

41122

Tweet

Share

By lolilovemyboyfriend - 19/10/2011 14:37 - United States

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58732

You deserved it

18465

Tweet

Share

By cande - 1/12/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my apartment complex added $250 to the $1,000 my roomate and I already owe because of an unauthorized pet and complaints from neighbors that our dog barks all night long. We don't have a dog, we don't even have a pet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34783

You deserved it

2493

Tweet

Share

By singlemam - 15/3/2016 01:51 - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

19037

You deserved it

1963

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/3/2012 14:35 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing badminton, I was so distracted by my ex winking at me that I didn't notice the shuttle cock that hit me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9670

You deserved it

21301

Tweet

Share

By Loser - 4/5/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14381

You deserved it

73858

Tweet

Share

By rangerluke - 25/2/2016 15:52 - United States

Today, I went to an indoor trampoline park. This would usually be fun, except that I got there, broke my ankle, and left in an ambulance, all before my friends even arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19695

You deserved it

2175

Tweet

Share

By comics over coatis - 4/4/2017 12:00

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me for starting to give him oral sex because I wasn't paying attention to the Marvel movie he was showing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6208

You deserved it

2447

Tweet

Share

By Anizzaf - 27/1/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30134

You deserved it

3081

Tweet

Share

By newscomes - 14/10/2009 23:06 - United States

Today, after watching the news, I realized the only person who has ever wished that I had a good day, or wished that I had anything pleasant for that matter, is Charlie Gibson on World News Tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24500

You deserved it

3522

Tweet

Share

By ForeverAlone - 15/10/2014 00:13 - United States - Watertown

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34318

You deserved it

3728

Tweet

Share

By disappointmentafter4years - 12/4/2016 19:31 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after 4 years of staring each other down at the bar, we both finally made a move and ended up at his apartment. After 45 mins of unsuccessfully getting anywhere, I left, to walk home in a hail storm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21215

You deserved it

3685

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/11/2019 14:00

Hangover

Today, I got really sick after drinking a lot of alcohol and started throwing up. Every time I threw up into the toilet, the water would splash back up into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

757

You deserved it

2922

Tweet

Share

By Woops - 27/8/2014 22:57 - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22760

You deserved it

47045

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 9/8/2014 08:56 - Malawi

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40876

You deserved it

3675

Tweet

Share

By Badday - 25/10/2009 04:38 - Canada

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17888

You deserved it

29776

Tweet

Share

By I Like My Cat - 21/12/2012 10:02 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21869

You deserved it

13251

Tweet

Share

By Pelota - 1/7/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I tried to stop a drunk girl from driving home. She took a couple swings at me, which I dodged. Feeling pretty good about it, I tried to get the keys from her hand. She leaned over, and sunk her teeth in to my bare shoulder. The doctor says I will have a scar. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52326

You deserved it

5125

Tweet

Share

By Oihana - 1/8/2015 03:30 - United States - Greensboro

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

I agree, your life sucks

29265

You deserved it

1992

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26525

You deserved it

6053

Tweet

Share

By Jess - 20/12/2013 08:02 - United States - Modesto

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35667

You deserved it

7750

Tweet

Share

By Ugggggggggg - 6/11/2012 05:11 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36424

You deserved it

4834

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/12/2017 05:00

Today, I accidentally called a student in my 10th grade English class "David" instead of "Dylan". Without thinking, I said, "I'm sorry, I just have a lot of d's in my life!". All of my students broke out in mortified laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3854

You deserved it

995

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Gwengreen | 6

#7485436 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 6:24

You should ask for the recipe for their *amazing* meatloaf and see their reaction.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7485311 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 4:39

That must be some badass meatloaf!

1. Your in-laws loved it so much they stole it.
2. They decided to share it with you.
3. You won’t have it for lunch.

Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad!

Comments

By RichardPencil | 28

#7485311 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 4:39

That must be some badass meatloaf!

1. Your in-laws loved it so much they stole it.
2. They decided to share it with you.
3. You won’t have it for lunch.

Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad!

By rivenrock | 14

#7485318 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 4:44

So interested to know what they said when you asked them about it. And if you didn't ask them, YDI.

Reply

Lalala579121 | 27

#7486293 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 17:20

"This is really good meatloaf! You just HAVE to tell me how you made it!"

By Gwengreen | 6

#7485436 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 6:24

You should ask for the recipe for their *amazing* meatloaf and see their reaction.

By CrazyTrainWreck | 19

#7485506 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 7:28

Well that is one way to meat the parents.

Reply

J352SAURUS | 30

#7485544 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 7:59

Get a loaf of this guy. So punny and original!

Reply

Cali | 54

#7488398 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 19:48

So punny! I loaf you guys.

By J352SAURUS | 30

#7485542 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 7:58

So... they have no problem stealing from you and then inviting you over and deliberately serving your meatloaf for dinner so you can clearly see their theft? What are they thinking? Are they stupid? Have they no shame? What does your SO think? That's messed up!

By Lobby_Bee | 16

#7485846 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 11:51

Tell then it taste awful and bad. Give them pointers on how to make a better meat loaf. At some point they will get pissed enough and blab they stole it from you and they didn't make it. You = win

By bigtwobah | 6

#7485910 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 12:42

Did they run from the fridge like a bat out of hell?

Reply

egnur_mas | 19

#7485993 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 13:45

I can't believe it took this long for one of these jokes :,)

Reply

RichardPencil | 28

#7486250 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 16:49

"I can't believe it took this long for one of these jokes :,)"

Dude! My first comment is a Meat Loaf reference!

Reply

species4872 | 19

#7486455 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 19:16

Yeah I think the reference was a little too subtle Richard.

Reply

RichardPencil | 28

#7486515 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 20:04

You took the words right out of my mouth!

By Glowworm56 | 25

#7486041 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 14:28

"So how's the meatloaf?"
"It tastes stolen."

By HappyItalian | 38

#7486380 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 18:18

Of all things to steal, they steal food? And meatloaf at that? Tsk. Shoulda went with the cake.

Reply

Glowworm56 | 25

#7486633 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 21:22

The cake is a lie!

Reply

RichardPencil | 28

#7486915 - Wednesday 12 July 2017 0:45

Meat loaf, double beat loaf. I hate meat loaf!

By Talented73 | 54

#7486402 - Tuesday 11 July 2017 18:32

Don't let yer meat loaf