Love: Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time....

By Anonymous - 13/01/2010 01:39 - United States

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His mother, seconds upon meeting me, gave me a hug, smiled at me, and said: "It's so nice to finally meet you! All I ever hear is 'Emma this', and 'Emma that', 'I love Emma!'. He never stops talking about you!" My name's not Emma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 137

You deserved it 2 696

Love

Mama's boy

Great start to the day

Sick board!

By Raaaaaaarrrrrr - 13/07/2009 02:30 - United States

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 085

You deserved it 21 644

By cryface - 07/02/2014 04:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 891

You deserved it 17 727

By Anonymous - 30/11/2013 00:17 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, I was rubbing one out in the shower. I guess I got a little too excited, because as I came close to climaxing, I had a serious asthma attack and had to wheeze for help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 629

You deserved it 12 372

By Chuffy - 01/12/2012 06:01 - United States - Loveland

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 044

You deserved it 42 930

By yourfault - 02/09/2013 15:10 - United Kingdom - Kingston

Today, my boyfriend blamed me for his affair, because apparently I "should have made it clear to him" not to have sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 728

You deserved it 6 755

By monsterinlaw - 21/01/2014 06:25 - United States - Columbus

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 513

You deserved it 4 129

By ocroyalty - 01/02/2010 07:31 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 421

You deserved it 2 644

By asdfghjkl - 18/12/2010 19:14 - United States

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 253

You deserved it 3 909

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 842

You deserved it 19 265

By Wrongtoilet - 12/07/2010 08:28 - Singapore

Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 781

You deserved it 5 441

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 652

You deserved it 2 643

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 03:42 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my apartment filled with smoke, fire alarms blaring. My roommate set my kitchen on fire while making hot dogs. This is the fourth time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 4 657

By unfortunate - 25/04/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 022

You deserved it 10 416

By Strainer - 23/05/2015 04:38 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 489

You deserved it 5 968

By zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - 01/02/2014 08:11 - United States - Montgomery

Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 103

You deserved it 6 388

By Anonymous - 07/07/2014 01:27 - United States - Sandston

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 676

You deserved it 5 614

By Rebecca - 16/04/2012 18:49 - United States - Bloomfield

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 602

You deserved it 2 142

By NoFriends - 28/11/2016 02:28 - Australia

Today, I found out that my friends from high school have yearly meet-ups to catch up and talk about what they've done since school. They've done this for 3 years. I havent even been invited once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 250

You deserved it 868

By sdd - 23/01/2013 15:44 - Switzerland - Lotzwil

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 175

You deserved it 6 712

By Moron - 23/08/2011 02:03 - Canada

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 846

You deserved it 6 527

Mr Nice Guy

By Anonymous - 23/01/2021 01:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, it was our 12th anniversary. My husband only remembered because family members texted to wish us a happy anniversary. When he went out to the store to get groceries, he didn't even buy me flowers. He's also irritated that I "seem sad or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 163

By I_dislike_Twilight - 08/09/2011 12:52 - United States

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 316

You deserved it 4 686

Phone call anxiety

By Anonymous - 28/11/2020 16:59

Today, I'm making preparations to call a foreign embassy to try to get back a huge sum of money. A close relative was scammed out of it, it seems to be bouncing around a European banking system, and they are not capable of figuring this mess out themselves. It's not even my money, but I feel obligated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 125

By BNLM - 09/03/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 606

You deserved it 34 075

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 840

You deserved it 9 183

By moneycatious - 19/03/2012 23:50 - United States - Seattle

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 294

You deserved it 5 503

By Anonymous - 01/07/2011 05:56 - United States

Today, after weeks, I've finally reached my goal and lost 10 lbs. My sister got jealous about me losing weight, and told my parents and coworkers that I'm anorexic. Hello, intervention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 166

You deserved it 3 105

Freaky situation

By Cody - 09/08/2021 00:01

Today, my boyfriend left our bed at 6 a.m. to go upstairs and go back to bed with his son and soon to be ex-wife. I then had to ride in the backseat of a car for 6 hours while they talked and laughed. Not once has he asked if I'm okay or what's wrong. I've barely spoke all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 1 539

By Anonymous - 24/10/2011 10:07 - United States

Today, I finally gathered up the guts to say hi to the girl I like. As I was walking down the hallway, I saw her and waved hello, only to walk into a bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 183

You deserved it 6 017

By Anonymous - 19/10/2013 05:34 - United States - Escondido

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 255

You deserved it 4 740

By Garry the Gluten-Free Pizza - 13/09/2016 21:17 - United States

Today, I was carjacked. As he shoved me away from my car, I got hit by another car. He and the other car both drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 560

You deserved it 1 034

By .. - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 176

You deserved it 4 102

Not a great start

By anon - 05/06/2021 02:01

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 157

Gambled and lost

By Anonymous - 25/07/2021 10:59

Today, I found out that my mom found a paper with my long lost username and password to an old crypto wallet with 17 bitcoins. She'd thrown it in the garbage bin before realising what it was. The bin was empty when I went running to check it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 219

By I love L - 08/08/2015 22:56 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 530

You deserved it 5 071

Infectious laugh

By Anonymous - 23/02/2021 00:30

Today, I'd always been scared of meeting someone from Tinder, so I was really reassured when my first Tinder date went really well. I kept seeing the guy. He then gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 384

Bad, bad, bad

By Anonymous - 01/03/2014 10:30 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 317

You deserved it 15 616

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 20:38 - Germany - Bad Windsheim

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 437

You deserved it 15 596

By moonbears - 22/10/2015 16:46 - United States - Portland

Today, as I tried to parallel park at a busy spot downtown, a group of teens jumped in front of my car and started a slow clap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 003

You deserved it 2 796

By Anonyme - 10/06/2011 23:07 - France

Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 3 910

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Top comments

xoprettyinpunkox 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:13

dump his ass. no questions asked. lol

hope20 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:23

His mom might of just said the wrong name.... it happens

bahdspeler 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:06

neonokku 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 13:00

'I'm not Emma...' 'O_o'

xoprettyinpunkox 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:13

dump his ass. no questions asked. lol

bobmandude 0

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Saturday 3 April 2010 18:23

Wow. That's a fail on ur boyfriend.

z620 0

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Wednesday 2 February 2011 3:44

or... maybe she just forgot what your name was and thought it was Emma?

Universe_of_Time 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:14

Wow, that sucks. Fk your life! Dump him!

hope20 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:23

His mom might of just said the wrong name.... it happens

Microbiologist 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 22:38

My girlfriend mum called me by her ex's name for the first three times we met!

SpicyDuck 22

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Wednesday 1 June 2011 19:24

Or maybe, just assuming OP didn't pause time to post an FML, she did tell him mom she's not Emma, or confronted him about the situation. Going off of that, I would imagine this was her clever way of stating what /would be/ him cheating which would indeed be an FML.

stump11knights 10

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Tuesday 10 April 2012 21:53

Yah but the son would've corrected her. Or she would've realized her mistake...

24788 6

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

seba7236 21

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Thursday 19 May 2016 19:09

Why should she lower her expentences? Idiot

tyrob911 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:31

she prolly just said the wrong name like #4 said or Emma could prolly be his bestfriend (highly doubt this). but come on so what happened after that? did u ask your bf who Emma was?

kwinters 5

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:33

im really curious as to how he reacted when she said all that. he sounds like a douchebag. get rid of him.

goodoldave 17

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Wednesday 25 January 2012 23:34

Uh oh. or whoops. lol

null_fml 11

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:34

I would have assumed he had a brother whose girlfriend was named Emma, and she got confused as to which of her children was bringing someone over to meet them. But since this is an FML, I'm assuming that turned out not to be the case. Or something like that was the case, and you decided to make a big deal out of nothing. But no FML posters ever do that, right?

jair_lhao 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:34

maybe it's his immaginary best friend. don't judge the guy lol <3 ask him who Emma is lol

mariabiscuit 0

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Wednesday 13 January 2010 9:40

She's a woman! she just didn't like you and she wanted to make you leave her son...

Maddoctor 10

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Thursday 14 January 2010 5:09

I wouldn't be suprised. I can't stand boyfriend's mothers (like mine) who think no one is good enough for "their little boy." So childish...

DreamyMia 16

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Wednesday 26 June 2013 16:28

Same here. My boyfriend's mother hates me and have said and forbidden all kinds of possible stuff. But we are still together; somehow she didn't managed to drive me nuts... yet. I would really like to know how this FML turned out to end... If it was his mother trying to mess with your head or if he cheated on you fyl indeed :/ If she just messed up the names it's not really and FML