Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online.... - FML

By ninja_blasphemer - 25/07/2011 19:24 - Ireland

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 063

You deserved it 7 783

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Same thing different taste

By thatgirl - 10/10/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 099

You deserved it 3 549

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 190

Proud boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 08:02

Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 187

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 419

You deserved it 10 170

By notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 879

You deserved it 8 579

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 5 085

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 114

You deserved it 7 776

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 03:19 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 652

You deserved it 2 908

Maturity level

By Clairebear - 07/05/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with someone I'd met online. Everything was going surprisingly well, until I knocked over my drink, spilling it all over my date's lap. In a panic, I blurted out, "Dude, did you piss yourself?" Needless to say, there will be no second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 750

Fake news

By sayno - 12/11/2010 11:06 - Switzerland

Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet an online date. I couldn't spot him, so he eventually came up and introduced himself. It seems his on-line picture must have been taken before I was born. I spluttered "This isn't going to work," and promptly scuttled out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 11 303

Next

Top comments

Airick_TheGreat 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:34

so I'm guessing the date went ok?

GigaPudding_fml 24

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:35

Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?

Comments

Footballfinatic 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:27

phail!!!!!!! that's such a fail I spelled it with a " ph"

skyeyez9 24

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:38

Should have karate chopped his ass then been like "How do you like those ninja skills, bitch!"

Blakers2 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:43

wow

Blakers2 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:43

wow

daisycorp 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:48

Well obivously he wasnt drunk enough if he still thought you were ugly

XxThrasherxX 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:49

Sorry :/

The_Moustache 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:55

Hayyy boiiiiis! Think I got what you need, I got quite a 'stache on me.

loadingswagg__ 3

Tuesday 26 July 2011 4:58

time for a lip wax maybe ? :)

musicfreak9821 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 5:04

that's wat u get for meeting d from online. ydi

Vmonster 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 5:07

a drunk mind speaks a sober heart?

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You deserved it 149

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 12 911

You deserved it 1 203

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I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 2 221

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You deserved it 3 843

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I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 356

Today, I went in for a doctor's appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 520

You deserved it 9 279

Today, it was my first day teaching economics to a university class of 150. For the first 5 minutes, a bunch of students snickered. I asked why. One said, "Your zipper's open, but it doesn't matter because your blue panties are showing through your white pants anyway." FML

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You deserved it 1 700