Love: Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert,...

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 23:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date for the first time in months. Over dessert, my date told a joke, and I tittered vigorously, causing me to choke and throw up all over my date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 6 345

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Nerves, dear?

By First date - 30/03/2021 02:00

Today, on my first date with a guy I really like, I threw up not once, not twice, but three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 128

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 251

Dating is hell

By Anonymous - 24/03/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I’ve been trying to date not only agreed to a date, she invited me back to her place because the date went so well. We were kissing so hard, I struggled to breathe, I coughed, gagged, then vomited my seafood dinner all over her yellow sofa. It all went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 11:45 - United States

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 613

You deserved it 30 204

Must've been a good joke

By HAIL SITHIS - 24/07/2015 18:54 - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 177

You deserved it 3 263

By lapines01 - 12/08/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 328

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 1 931

The Sweet Smell of Success

By let ‘Er rip - 13/10/2019 16:00

Today, I was out on my first date in months. My stomach didn’t feel quite right after dinner, but I tried to ignore it. During the movie, it got so bad I decided to try to sneak a small fart for relief. As soon as I did, the theater fell dead silent. My fart practically echoed in the silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 581

Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 4 420

By hollysofly - 15/01/2011 07:38 - United States

Today, I went on the first date of my life. I also burped during my first kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 181

You deserved it 7 939

fearfulsymmetry 1

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

I wasn't aware you could titter vigorously.....I've heard of people working out vigorously, and arguing vigorously, but tittering? How the **** do you manage to do that?

alwa7sh 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

that teaches you to not fake you titters

Comments

angelo8320 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:15

maye he's into that sorta thing

minktheshrink 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:46

lol

SirDruid 3

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:15

It's a bit unfortunate, but your date shouldn't hold it against you. I mean, accidents happen.

CondomSense 4

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:17

I guess you just choked out

Shorty_Shaza 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:18

aw well I hope he likes you enough to forget about the situation, try to get another date and this time don't throw up

FukYurLife_89 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

ha ha.... u deserve it for trynna impress ur date by laughin at their unfunny joke... u lose

SuperDuperSex 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 4:35

Aren't you the gentleman? /sarcasm

fearfulsymmetry 1

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

I wasn't aware you could titter vigorously.....I've heard of people working out vigorously, and arguing vigorously, but tittering? How the **** do you manage to do that?