Today, I went into the house, only to hear my mother shouting "DON'T PINCH MY NIPPLE" at the top of her lungs in the shower. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML
Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML
Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
Well, you heard her. Stop pinching her nipple right now.
MDoremis 38
To be fair, that can get annoying and painful after a while. Particularly if it's at random and unwanted.
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Comments (32)
Fed21 16
I bet you ran out of the house as fast as you could...I would've done the same
Wonthebread 20
I agree, your life SUCKS
Lily_Rain77 25
I once woke up to my mother yelling "You can't bite my ass, it's not Thursday!" I feel your pain.
8313girl 28
So they have Bite Your Ass Thursdays at your house?
staceyymaee 8
And then you walked straight out the house, right...?
pinkwho 13
Could be worse. You could have walked in on the nipple twisting - just saying.
blazingshot147 19
Could've been much worse OP. At least it wasn't a bit kinkier sounding.
Mr_GryllsWood 13
I must pinch your nip nip
thatsjustgreat1 16
Saskatchewan !
_EnderDoge 22
*walks into house* *exits house*
jvanevery 19
I'll bet this is an ongoing trope in you're parents relationship your dad probably sneaks in when she's in the shower and pinches her nipple now she just sick and tired of it