Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML
Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML
Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML
Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
Jessick_1 0
"Today, I had a seizure. I thought the lifeguard would save me but turns out they managed to knock themself out because they panicked. The ambulance took them to hospital, forgetting about me. FML" Poor woman.
SomeDude148 0
Maybe you should get a new job.
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Comments (137)
furi7 0
Well, at least the ambulance guys weren't dissappointed that you wasted their time or anything.
tipple 0
You're not much of a lifeguard, are you? Is the tree ok?
theset3 0
win!
Fraggle 0
....DO quit your day job!
alex_vik 1
Note to self: DON'T rely on the life guard in case of an emergency.
PlasticShark 0
How the hell did you get all the way to a tree...? Unless it was an outdoor pool :
starberries 0
You know, there are indoor pools, but outdoor ones are hardly rare. Weird comment.
theset3 0
ya. we regular ppl actually have to swim outside. shocker!
shmunk 0
i have seizures a lot. and while i understand what people are saying about how bad it was that you didn't come through and as a lifegaurd you should be able to handle high-pressure situations, i understand how frightening those are to see. even my closest family members have froze up at the sight of me having a seizure. it's a really disconserting thing to see. and no amount of lifegaurd training can really prepare you for it. dont be too hard on yourself, but maybe reach out to that woman and apologize.
SomeDude121489 0
What the hell bro?! why are you a lifeguard then? Go find a new job. One where you don't have to run away from serious situations. Dum-bass
marcusaurelius 0
some lifeguard you are... I bet you faint at the sight of blood too...
hahahahaa_fml 0
im calling am obvious fake on this one. as a lifegaurd myself, both at beaches and multiple outdoor pools, how did a tree get in the way. beaches dont have random trees between lifeguard chairs and the ocean and pools shouldnt either. this is complete bs. plus, what lifeguard panics when it comes time to do his job. thats what youre paid for and trained to do. going into shock and walking into a tree? what the ****. that doesnt happen when you go into shock and i dont think anyone is that ****** up to just walk into a tree. even if you 'did' walk into a tree, thats enough to know you out and send you to the hospital? please be fake or you my friend have serious problems.
plethora 3
You fail as a lifeguard.