Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking by a bunch of pretty girls. I'm not the most attractive boy, so I walked by nervously. I heard one yell, "Hey cutie!" I turned to look, and they started laughing. She said, "Oh my god, sorry! I assumed you were cute from your butt!" Apparently, my ass is nicer than my face. FML
Today, I walked up to my friend and slapped her ass, because that’s what we always do. Turns out, it wasn’t my friend, it was a total stranger. FML
Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML
Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML
Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML
Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a friend at an ice cream place, and a guy started chatting with us. As he eventually went to leave, he told me, "That's a nice looking date you got there." Then he turned to my friend. "Wish I could say the same to you." FML
Today, I was walking my dog. A cute guy stopped me and said, "Wow, you are gorgeous!" I said thanks. He looked at me like I was nuts and said, "Not you, your dog." FML
Today, I was sitting in Walmart and I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with "You know I'm a guy right?" FML
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
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Top comments
AiDen2 2
Professor Oak." Are you a boy or girl?"
daringtoride 27
Come on, OP - you definitely deserved that.
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Comments (53)
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Time to re-evaluate your life decisions?
andyyroxx 20
And why is that?
JR_Goes_Rawr 11
#17 Because OPs constant partying, drinking, and drug use have impaired his perception. Then his lack of further education left him without the right information about the anatomical differences between men and women. That's why they should re-evaluate their life decisions!!! Just kidding, I have no clue. (:
SillyGirl4602 23
11- Why? Because he was admiring an ass that belonged to a guy?
DocBastard 40
As Socrates said, "A nice ass is a nice ass."
klovemachine 24
Socrates is a smart man :-)
Pleonasm 36
I think he also said "The only thing I know, is that that guy has a nice ass"
Enslaved 38
I remember in "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure" how they kept mispronouncing Socrates' name. (:
Tempest151 11
Anybody who says they've never been fooled by a well fitting pair of wranglers is a liar. At least I hope we're not alone on that one OP.
rkmn8r 6
good point
stewy133 10
Everyone makes mistakes lol. Definitely don't be embarrassed about it man!
karlcolt45 19
take pride in your behind
luminos_ 9
Asses should not be judged by gender but by appearance, OP. But next time make sure you see the ass-owners face before you comment on it.
ZombieSazza 34
If you think a guy is a girl, I've got some bad news for you......
PunkySpunky78 15
To the op I hate people like you People like you think I'm guy because I wear tee shirt and jeans even tho I have big boobs and wear makeup and carry a purse It like ooh that is must be a guy because they are wearing tee shirt and jeans and is fat ugh!
Shrike 24
Let's face it, you're just another narcissist looking for an excuse to brag on the internet about your supposedly big boobs. Next time just post "I have massive ****, drool over me pls." and be honest about it.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
Ehh lighten up 27. 25 also said she looks like a fat guy in t-shirt and jeans so doesn't exactly paint a pretty picture. Just saying.
misspennycakes 7
25 are you the full quid?
toelie 26
Be fair, #25. Beyond a certain weight any guy would have massive boobs too.
melbaby112 11
Damn he* has a perfect ass! Would "no ****" even be legit in this case? lol
Dmeister2008 3
Well maybe not.... It's too late to call no **** now lol you gotta be quick when you say that but I don't think OP is gay bc he saw a nice ass that just so happend belonged to a guy lol he obviously looked like a chick from behind
buckdharma 38
Maybe it looked good cause all you been getting is elf ass.