Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.
DocBastard 40
Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?
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Comments (214)
spd2fst4u 5
I woulda punched the thing in the head as hard as I could. or taken the knife out of my pocket and (content too graphic) all over.
notquite69 0
Even a large great dane is not difficult to push off. Are you sure you have a girlfriend?
vita987 0
the f
KCThaEclipse33 0
....ALL BAD BRUH
ry_ry7 4
Just another justification to be carrying a concealed weapon. I would have dropped that beast. Your defense is protecting yourself from an attacking animal. And the owner has pictures to price the attack.
Iknoweverything 29
Or you know, they could call the cops on the dog owner... seeing there's enough proof to warrant the cops putting the dog down. (And avoid any nasty fines if the city doesn't allow concealed weapons.)
Prolusive 5
when*
ugliness 6
it's not gay, or atleast not confirmed homosexual, it's just showing dominance
ManAmongMen 0
unfortunately that's just a funny situation and if u weren't been severely harmed that's just funny. I agree with ur gf. and btw u should keep her. she has a sense of humor. lol
grdianknight 0
ah that good ol' animal attraction, is there no leash law there?
JenL_fml 7
Scooby-Doo! Where are you?!