Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I bent down to pick up my dog’s mangled tennis ball at the park. At the exact same moment, someone’s Great Dane ran full speed into me from behind, knocking me face-first into the mud. My dog then ran off with another family. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML
Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.
DocBastard 40
Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?
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Comments (214)
dangousity 21
ask for the pictures to be texted over and then go to small claims
saturnsonic 3
you mean to tell me you couldnt stop the dog from doing that? you are either a wuss or you like getting doggie humped...lol
bluebird5679 3
I guess Rover took over haha
andre5006 2
It's a compliment
serioushamster 0
u are officially more attractive to a dog than ur girl
stubblez 0
I feel your pain. A few years ago I went swimming with my family, and I was lounging in a shallow part of the river. I came up for air to find my uncle's dog's dick about two inches from my mouth. I was f***ing terrified.
kerboai 3
Lol!!! Bet thats the most action uve got in a LONG time!
jacobootss420 0
I have been in the same boat but with a golden retever and my friends say there and watched and video taped the whole thing . Now I'm terrified of them
Ugi 27
It must be hell being terrified of your friends - you should find some new ones.
1nomor 8
Only in Florida
PhishloverA 14
The owner of the great Dane will be posting that on Facebook. Still sad no one helped you while being raped especially your gf