Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at the gym, when I saw my uncle at the front desk. I quietly went up behind him and slapped him hard on the back while yelling "What's up, loser?!" He turned around. It wasn't my uncle. FML
Today, I walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my uncle decided to bend over in short shorts. Apparently, his ballsack decided it needed extra room, because it dangled out of his pant leg. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, I was walking home when an old guy came up to me asking for directions. After I pointed him in the right direction, he held my hand, stroked my face then pushed me into a bush. FML
Today, I surprise-visited my uncle after not seeing him for 4 years because of college. When he opened the door to his house, he was wearing Crocs. Of course, that would have been completely fine if it weren't for the fact that they were the only thing he was wearing. FML
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
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Top comments
Lomus 24
Probably should have just said hi like a normal person.
MissMustard 20
In the chap's defence, she did pounce on him and invade his personal space first!
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Comments (75)
olpally 33
Way to go op. lol.
Damian95 16
At least it wasn't her uncle who grabbed her ass.
Mackay92 14
nice of you wanting to give you're uncle a hug( even though it was not him) but count you're self lucky it was an ass grab rather getting hit
buddy51 23
That's probably the appropriate response to a strange woman giving a guy a "surprise" hug. Nothing says "thanks for that unexpected affection!" like a little ass-grabbing!!! Maybe a little more careful identification of the stranger you see and feel like randomly hugging next time, OP?
Cindy_Smiles 12
you should have walked ahead to make sure it was really your uncle
sweet82 9
Creepy
imtooshy 18
Look at it this way....you just made some man very happy for a quick minute :-)
wowthatissad 9
I read an article about a guy who had mistaken a female police officer for a long time friend. He went up and surprise hugged her from behind, and the officer shot and killed him, thinking she was being attacked. I would say that OP is lucky that he only grabbed her ass
Shadowbay 18
Yeah... it's better to make sure it's someone you know. I like to watch them for a minute to make sure.. haha no but take a second look before grabbing someone.. kinda like you should before crossing a street...
raddybear 11
I feel like we all have done this when we were little