Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML
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Top comments
perdix 29
Grandma running away and laughing? Are you sure you're not delirious from the fever? Go easy on the gummy bears and don't blame your dead relatives for your overindulgence.
Aeroxx1337 17
Fair warning, you grandmother might be a sociopath. Don't go to sleep.
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Comments (109)
Synapsky 10
That must've been beary scary
hahatofunny 20
Well it's good to stay young at heart
meepmerp 20
Staying young = trying to kill someone?
Enslaved 36
Ba ba brubaruba yum yum Three times you can bite me
chanellgymnast 17
My grandma, what CRAZY PERSONALITY YOU HAVE.
jalapeno47 5
Geez granny
PenguinBitch 43
That must be unbearable......but delicious.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Actually, I wouldn't mind death by gummi bears... It actually sounds badass! Imagine the explanation at the funeral.
OrangeKnife 10
"He died eating while choking on a Strawberry gummy bear" thats a bad ass life story right there.
fresh247 10
grams got her groove back
james9120 7
Sounds like its time to put her down!
Tempest151 11
Best comment ever!
Tibe_ros 2
Well get her back! Put toothpaste on her cheek wile sleeping!
Synapsky 10
There are two right, two left, and 3 wrong cheeks. But which is best for toothpaste?
AerBear115 15
Wtf is wrong with your gma? I'd put a restraining order on her!