Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my phone rang while I was home alone. When I picked up, all I could hear was heavy breathing. Convinced it was one of my friends playing a joke, I said loudly, "Get off the phone, you fucker, and don't call back!" It turned out it was my grandma. She had been having a stroke. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health, and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML
Today, my mom told me she’d never forgive me for eating her birthday candy. I ate it in my sleep. FML
Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML
Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face for stifling a yawn at my grandmother’s funeral. I wasn’t being disrespectful; I have a condition. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
perdix 29
Grandma running away and laughing? Are you sure you're not delirious from the fever? Go easy on the gummy bears and don't blame your dead relatives for your overindulgence.
Aeroxx1337 17
Fair warning, you grandmother might be a sociopath. Don't go to sleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (109)
Perfectg 9
aww she's cute :p
xRezSynn 15
That's actually weird and scary. Better get a lock on your door, OP.
buddyboy321 5
LMFAOSOTDP
mmaflake 19
Awesome grandmas here lately. Sounds like something mine would do. She once woke us all up with snow.
bazingabitches 17
That must have been beary uncomfortable...
meagann01 4
Haha. I wish I still had my grandmas alife. Cherish her... & the gummy bears.
DarkskyFML 5
They weren't gummy bears, it wasn't grandma either.
slowlybreakingme 14
What the actual ****.
elodymayweeble 7
What's life without a little whimsy?
JJtJJ 13
What the... I don't even... what?