Miscellaneous: Today, I was trying to go for number 2 while drying my hair so...

By steph - 31/05/2016 20:12 - United States - Helotes

Today, I was trying to go for number 2 while drying my hair so that my boy friend won't hear me do it. The lock on the door was broken, and he saw how good I am at multitasking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 198

You deserved it 2 721

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Same thing different taste

By ilikemusicokay - 08/08/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 593

You deserved it 46 589

By Anonymous - 14/05/2013 17:03 - United States - Norman

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 182

You deserved it 20 262

By FML - 15/07/2009 14:29 - Syrian Arab Republic

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 662

You deserved it 5 300

By pottyhostage - 08/11/2010 21:26 - Sweden

Today, I freaked out when I couldn't get my bathroom door open. After ten minutes of panic when thinking about how I'd be stuck there for at least 8 hours until my roommate would get home, and another five mentally going over survival skills, I realized that I had forgotten to unlock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 882

You deserved it 45 095

Hair care

By hairball - 22/04/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 810

You deserved it 28 674

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 273

You deserved it 30 178

By imeanreallytho - 11/09/2015 16:20 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work. The lock on the stall door broke, and I couldn't open it. I was all alone and I started having a mini panic attack. After several minutes of frantically trying to fix the lock and hyperventilating, I realized I could just crawl under the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 962

You deserved it 8 877

By ihasnoafroanymore - 10/06/2019 12:05

Today, I was working at my job at a McDonald's. I was on my break, so I went to use the restroom. When I finished, I tried to open the door, but the lock broke. I was stuck in the basement bathroom for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 161

Didn't think it through

By Mister_FML - 12/08/2020 08:01

Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 1 363

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 826

You deserved it 14 396

heyLaddieHey 18

Wednesday 1 June 2016 14:52

If you aren't comfortable enough to poop in the bathroom, you aren't comfortable enough to live together/have sleepovers.

oathkeeper99 31

Wednesday 1 June 2016 14:56

Surely he realises you're human and you're gonna poop sometimes? My boyfriend and I often make poop jokes or chat to each other whilst on the toilet, just means we're comfortable with each other. Unless your relationship is still pretty new, you should probably be comfortable pooping in the same house as him, or at least not ashamed enough that you have to pretend you're doing something else!

Comments

Zmanryan3 9

Wednesday 1 June 2016 20:05

Why do people alway worry about people knowing you went number 2. Everyone does it it nothing to be ashamed of.

Zmanryan3 9

Wednesday 1 June 2016 21:24

Why do people get so worried about other people knowing that you went number 2. Everyone does it, there is nothing to be ashamed of.

asdfghjklmoo 15

Wednesday 1 June 2016 22:11

I know that everyone poops, and I'm sure OP does too. But I still get nervous about how it sounds when I'm in a public bathroom at school or at the mall. I have a shy bladder, I can't pee or poop when I know people can hear it's from me. So I have to stick my fingers in my ears and pretend nobody is around to go. :| OP, I suggest you just tell your boyfriend to watch a funny video or two while you go!

DizzyDreamer90 15

Wednesday 1 June 2016 22:44

Don't worry girl, if he's worth keeping around he's gonna hear it eventually, and vice versa. Plus there's nothing wrong with being time efficient =P

False_Stupidity 41

Thursday 2 June 2016 1:27

That kind of backfired on you OP since he probably thought it was safe to walk in because he could hear the hair dryer and just got more than he bargained for.

CaaaaattttLady 13

Thursday 2 June 2016 10:21

This is so great!:)

SteveDudleyUK 10

Thursday 2 June 2016 12:20

I fail to see the tissue here.

dracolich 27

Friday 3 June 2016 21:38

Does not sound like you're mature enough to be in a long term relationship. Sucks that he walked on you when you clearly wanted privacy though.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Saturday 4 June 2016 21:17

Um...everyone poops. I don't get why some men freak out and get grossed out when women poop and/or fart. Everyone does it. And OP, honestly, if you're that concerned about it, maybe you're not with the right person. I'm curious to know how he reacted!