By ilikemusicokay - 08/08/2009 05:04 - United States
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You get caught Choking Kojak, Clearing the Snorkel, Dating Miss Michigan, Engaging in Safe Sex, Taking the Monster for a one-armed ride, Spanking the Monkey, Pounding your Pud, Butter Your Corn, Crank the Shank, Cuff the Carrot, Five Knuckle Olympics, Choking the Chicken, Greasing the Pipe, One Man Tug-O-War, Pounding the Proverb, Wax the dolphin, Play the upright organ, Polish the purple helmet, Tickling the turkey, Tenderizing the meat, Beating the Fuck out of your best friend, Boxing the one-eyed clown, Meating with Palmela Handerson, Warming up dinner for the alter boys, Painting the walls, Playing five against one, Holding the sausage Hostage, etc...? or were you taking a shit?
Who deliberately takes a crap at work if they know it's "going to take awhile"? Why would you take your ipod with you? Where do you work that they pay you to take 30-minute craps and listen to music? YDI.
How long did it take you to type up that list? I think that's an FML right there: "Today, I spent 20 minutes thinking of all the different ways to say "masturbating" just so I could post it online... FML."