Miscellaneous: Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to...

By Anonymous - 25/09/2010 14:45 - Malaysia

Today, I was trying to apply some toothpaste on my pimple to help dry it out. My mum came from behind and hugged me, making me accidentally apply minty toothpaste into my right eye instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 879

You deserved it 4 703

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Same thing different taste

By Talented73 - 25/04/2017 20:00

Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 143

You deserved it 404

Yippee!

By Such a rush - 27/09/2025 15:00

Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 124

Ouch

By Anonymous - 31/07/2020 02:03

Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 118

You deserved it 571

By Anonymous - 30/06/2011 17:30 - United States

Today, I woke up to find that not only did the toothpaste I put on my pimple make it more noticable, but it made it worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 457

You deserved it 34 666

Multitasking

By Mirroronthewall - 30/08/2009 15:22 - Canada

Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 769

You deserved it 44 254

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 701

You deserved it 13 859

Goo

By Anonymous - 22/09/2025 00:00

Today, I was washing my face and I started rinsing the soap off my face with my eyes closed when I felt something gooey on my face. I opened my eyes to realize I had been rubbing snot on my face from when water got up my nose and apparently snot came down with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 112

By inseriouspain - 22/08/2010 21:20 - United States

Today, I popped a zit and I went to put my acne medicine on it. It's in a clear bottle with a blue cap, just like the nearby nailpolish remover. I grabbed the wrong one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 484

You deserved it 14 587

Oh gosh

By Anonymous - 16/02/2020 14:00

Today, I noticed a strange mark on the inside of my mouthwash bottle. As I was bending down to investigate, my hands tightened around the bottle and mouthwash squirted in my eye. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 700

By lol - 06/12/2009 14:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 800

You deserved it 4 020

BananaTroll 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 19:51

I love brushing my pimple too. It keeps its breath fresh and clean.

MissEmma_fml 22

Saturday 25 September 2010 20:03

At least of some wacko comes up to you and sniffs your eye, it'll smell minty fresh ^_^

Comments

wDeemish 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 22:23

lol shit. at least your mom loves you. ?

lhgurlz 5

Saturday 25 September 2010 22:28

moms know best

haitilover 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 22:34

sux

cali_swagg408 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 9:19

your real pretty

usjdbxlsjgdoa 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 22:43

ouch. at least your mom loves you? :D

Joseph_Stalin 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 22:45

You should be more prepared for surprise attacks.

TotallyTubular 0

Saturday 25 September 2010 23:34

I read nipple. Not pimple. Talk about a WTF moment.

fuzzywazzy012 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 0:06

HA ha.... Dumb ass

WearingHats 14

Sunday 26 September 2010 0:35

Except get rid of them in many peoples cases. Seriously, why is everyone always trying to prove someone/something wrong on this site? :/

analyzewithin 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 0:40

Was it cool and tingly??? Lol More proactiv, less acne? +/-

mockingjay_fml 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 0:55

toothpaste doesn't help , it just makes the pimple worse !

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Today, I got a parking ticket while I was in the car. I didn't even notice it happen. Ninja cops do exist. FML

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Today, and ever since I've known her, my girlfriend easily falls asleep if she lies down. We decided to try bondage on our bed, but once laying down she fell asleep. I was the one tied up to the bed frame. When she woke up, I thought it would be funny to say I could stay two more hours like that. She took it seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 588

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 374

You deserved it 5 753

Today, I discovered that as thanks for my successful efforts to increase my company's monthly revenue, my dumbass of a boss has been awarded a pay bonus. He's wasted no time telling everyone about the sports car he's planning to buy with it. FML

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You deserved it 1 961

Today, my ex-wife refuses to return to Canada from the Caribbean if there are any new named Covid variants. I don't care about her, but this includes my children. She really does not want to return because she is anti-vax, cannot travel, and likes the local men. So what if the kids don't get educated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 122

You deserved it 230

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 2 470