Work: Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered... - FML

By Confused - 13/05/2013 14:39 - United States - Bath

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 621

You deserved it 3 135

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By DantesInfernalRage - 12/09/2017 13:00

Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 920

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 10/06/2016 17:02 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 697

You deserved it 1 314

By nowork - 28/08/2013 03:21 - United States - Liverpool

Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 397

You deserved it 7 735

By heck - 12/08/2016 13:57

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 151

You deserved it 18 507

Quiet quitting time

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 04:00

Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 117

By drug testing - 09/05/2013 22:22 - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 136

You deserved it 15 309

By Anonymous - 23/12/2013 00:58 - United States - Dekalb

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 549

You deserved it 4 230

By xharmonyx - 24/04/2012 08:29 - United States

Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 758

You deserved it 71 067

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 097

You deserved it 4 245

Unfair

By I'm not a junkie ffs - 26/11/2023 13:00 - United States

Today, I was dismissed because of my company's strict "no drugs" policy. Yesterday, I had a talk with my team leader and confessed that I have to take antidepressants; this arse then reported it to the management, and they fired me because they are not aware of what these pills contain, and it could affect my performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 123

Next

Top comments

tacojauns 45

Monday 13 May 2013 19:57

Man how high were you?

Ukeee_X 19

Monday 13 May 2013 19:57

Can you not testify that? It could be a mix-up.

Comments

Catkam623 27

Monday 13 May 2013 20:09

Offer to retake it

Enslaved 36

Monday 13 May 2013 20:10

Did they set one up and you failed to show up to it?

TheShadyMilkman 15

Monday 13 May 2013 20:22

So high you don't remember taking the test ehh?

kathryn14 19

Monday 13 May 2013 20:23

I guess that's why you failed it.

alwayswinning123 7

Monday 13 May 2013 20:39

That's trippy

Schiffy 18

Monday 13 May 2013 20:39

Not taking a drug test equals failing it? That kind of screws up "innocent until proven guilty."

perdix 29

Monday 13 May 2013 20:56

They were testing whether you'd bring them some Oxycontin and crystal meth, and you didn't, so you failed. You need to know the current business etiquette, like for instance, on your resume, you should put every NOUN in all CAPS. You need to learn to bring celebratory drugs to your new bosses, as opposed to the liquor of yesteryear.

Bano360 25

Monday 13 May 2013 21:07

That's HIGHly unfortunate.

Cheeley 17

Tuesday 14 May 2013 1:17

Capitalizing "high" in highly was highly unnecessary.

euphoricness 28

Tuesday 14 May 2013 4:37

Don't you mean HIGHly unnecessary?

jackaced 7

Monday 13 May 2013 21:24

Dude where's my drug test?

Zebediabolical 39

Monday 13 May 2013 21:30

That's some good weed, dude. Hook a brother up!

1
2
3
4
5

Keywords

Awkward Love Work Relatable Students Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Health Teenagers Friends Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats Animals Boredom Management Sexism Kids Parenting Parents Weird Miscellaneous Job interview Jealousy Social Media

The Top

Today, it's my husband's and my first wedding anniversary. I came home from work hoping for at least a bouquet of flowers, only to find my husband passed out on the couch, with a few beer cans next to him. I guess I missed the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 218

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 943

You deserved it 251 934

The Top

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 374

You deserved it 13 604

Today, my mom got mad at me because I wouldn't write to Ellen Degeneres about her. She now won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 686

You deserved it 3 237

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 89

Today, my 2-year-old learned how to open the fridge lock. I came out of the bathroom to what she called a "scrambled egg breakfast". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 831

You deserved it 428

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 4 279

Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 859

You deserved it 3 693