Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to resign from my job because I tested positive for drugs. I've never taken drugs. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for my new job, which I desperately need and which took me over a year to land. I got a shy bladder and couldn't pee. They marked me as non-compliant and revoked the job offer. FML
Today, I asked my boss for a raise, explaining that another shop offered me a job at a higher rate, but I would stay if he would offer me the same. Instead, he fired me then called the other shop and said I was fired for failing a drug test. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML
Today, I went to do a drug test for a new job. While I was there, they said the job was part-time with no insurance. Previously it was supposed to be full time with insurance. Now I have to take a job that pays $20,000 less a year. FML
Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML
Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML
Today, the lab wouldn't let me do my pre-employment drug test because they had no time when I had to pee really bad. They signed me in to do other blood work I needed, but when I asked to use the bathroom, they said it was for drug testing only. I peed myself in the lobby and couldn't do the blood test either. FML
Today, I paid for someone else's piss so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
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Top comments
tacojauns 45
Man how high were you?
Ukeee_X 19
Can you not testify that? It could be a mix-up.
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Comments (69)
Omniprism 15
They obviously got you confused with someone else.
iKojack 9
Well, at least it's not a family owned company.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Either someone screwed you unintentionally via bureaucratic mix-up, or it was intentional and someone is working actively against you for their own motives. Anyway look at it like this, do you want to work for screw ups, or an environment is actively trying to sabotage you?
beachbum_101 16
Aww /:
AngrySailor 17
Try having a Florida welfare recipient pee in the cup next time?
Jemm_fml 29
Back in my day, not taking a test meant you failed it anyway!
Zomg_Okay 27
That won't prove anything as even if OP took drugs, they won't be in his system indefinitely. Asking for a retake of a drug test and passing it after failing the first time would be rationalised by everybody as "he stayed clean for a little while because he knew the test was coming up". That's why these tests are usually done at random.
Ray_of_midnight 23
This is why I don't apply at places that drug-test for non-safety-related jobs. I don't do drugs, but the fact that they drug test says bad things about the company and their attitude towards their employees. (The explanation is kind of long-winded and beyond the scope of an FML comment.)
interesting33 37
HAD they taken one...would you have passed?
worldclassrager 41
Have a drug test taken...and DO NOT eat anything with Poppy seeds those jack up the tests usually...