Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she looked up at me and said, "You look a lot like your brother." FML
Today, I caught the woman I’ve been dating for a few weeks in bed with my brother. We’ve not had sex yet. If she wanted a relationship with him, why not say so instead of wasting my time? This truly feels like I did the work digging the trench, but my brother got to lay the pipe. FML
Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML
Today, I sent a text message to my girlfriend telling her how much I wanted to make love to her tonight. I've just realized I sent it to her brother. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, I received a wedding invitation. It was from my ex-girlfriend, who left me for my brother. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex with the girl from next door, whom I’ve been in love with for years, but alas she isn’t a lesbian. She’s entitled to date whoever she likes, but my brother knows how I feel about her and seduced her anyway in our shared flat, which was a real douche move. FML
Today, my best friend of 18 years decided to end our friendship in order to continue sleeping with her brother-in-law, who is also my ex. FML
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Top comments
Chazyj 4
Damn some girls are not for every one see if she has a sister ;)
roobin302 0
sleep with her brother.. j/k. whatta bitch
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Comments (141)
sirbrainiac 2
long comment is long.
ryanTHEgerman 0
What a bitch feel bad for you bro
_Krijs 5
Sorry bro, I thought you were over her.
perdix 31
Maybe you could be her back-up dick when your brother is out of town or screwing yet another of your women.
Silence129 0
Ouch that's cold. Guess we know who has the jewels of the family eh?
AdamMichael 2
yikes, don't get involved with ****** ;)
gatorsfan100 1
But there fun:)
slipknotz 0
Sleep with her mum. Seems like what she should get.
leadman1989 16
"in the night I hear them talk, coldest story ever told -- somewhere far along this road he list his soul,to a woman so heartless." What a heartless bitch, but I blame your brother MORE!!!
halleyroosan 8
What's with you and lyrics? You spell the lyrics wrong every time, too. Keep on trying, but I don't think Kanye West lyrics are very promising.
leadman1989 16
I spell them wrong? Well at least this means your reading my comments. You have good taste. ;p
halleyroosan 8
I do read your comments. (: I've enjoyed a few, too. Have you, by any chance, heard The Fray's version of "Heartless"?
leadman1989 16
Yes, yes I have... I love the fray! and thanks for the compliment. :)
halleyroosan 8
I forgive you for knowing Kanye lyrics now. It would be inexcusable if you had never heard The Fray's version. It's so good. (:
dlryan97 1
Sleep with her bro now.
coldsteele152 1
Dude forget about that hatchet wound
salvorican 24
That bitch is cold man..