Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Paranoid parents are the worst, accusations of the most ridiculous things. Don't worry OP, you're not alone in this struggle of trust and faith :')
imtooshy 18
Your moms a shit head for putting you on the spot like that.
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Comments (75)
perdix 31
So, she nailed you, and then had to admit that you're into rough anal. Sorry :(
Iamevil123 16
Nope, just diarrhoea.
gg27787 6
That was the joke.
livforever 13
boo that sucks :(
reaxion 25
If you happen to shart, just rinse the offending articles before putting in the laundry :-)
onesarcasticdik 8
Man that's a shitty situation to be in.
Iamevil123 16
This joke has been done to death. RIP shitty situation jokes!
emmingle 24
Why not blame it on something else?
olpally 33
Parents are morons on here a lot. Wtf is wrong with her? :/ just fight back op. deny it and call her a crazy bitch.
graceinsheepwear 34
Yeah, 'cause calling your mom a crazy bitch when you live at home always works out well!
cottoncandymango 17
There are pros and cons of having overprotective parents... But in this case, this is definitely a con. :(
Jemm_fml 29
Surprise!
mmaflake 19
I may have over trusted that last fart. Gambled and lost!
accountnamevalid 3
I can't even imagine how "sleeping around" is the first conclusion she would jump to. It literally took me a few minutes to even figure out what she was accusing you of, and I'm not sure I'm right.
iluvpeanutbutter 22
I'm assuming the OP threw away her undies, and her mum apparently noticed there was a pair missing, and assumed her daughter was sleeping around and had left her underwear somewhere- that's the only explanation I can think of.
graceinsheepwear 34
well please speculate wildly and publicly...
Ti996r28 7
I wonder if you would of gotten in trouble if you left your soiled clothes there for your mother to do? At least you wouldn't of been accused of anything. FYL OP and next time let your mum do all your washing.