Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was woken up to my mother screaming obscenities at me, all because I threw up last night after days of not feeling well, and the flushing of the toilet afterwards woke her up. FML
Today, I apparently had diarrhea in my sleep. I had to get up and sneak to the bathroom so as to not wake my husband. When he asked about the stain, I panicked and told him I started my period. FML
Today, after finishing the laundry, I took clothes out of the dryer and took a big whiff of their delicious clean scent. That was when I noticed that my mom was watching me, and I had just smelled my dad's still-stained underwear that was on top. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I walked into the house I share with my boyfriend and found his mum sashaying up and down the hall. When she saw me, she exclaimed, "Oh, you've got to tell me where you get your underwear from!" Yep, she was wearing my panties. Neither she nor her son could see why I would be upset by that. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I used the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs one, which was in close earshot of my parents. When I came out, my mom angrily asked why I used that bathroom. I explained to her that I have shy bladder, and she said, "That’s not a real thing. I can go even with someone watching." FML
Today, I was doing the laundry but couldn't tell if one basket contained dirty clothes or clean clothes. I put my head down into the basket and took a whiff to check, and smelled something strong. I looked down and noticed I had shoved my nose into my mother's dirty panties and inhaled deeply. FML
Today, as I was standing in the checkout line in a store, my six year-old daughter proudly announced to everyone that I fell asleep on the toilet last night. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
Paranoid parents are the worst, accusations of the most ridiculous things. Don't worry OP, you're not alone in this struggle of trust and faith :')
imtooshy 18
Your moms a shit head for putting you on the spot like that.
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Comments (75)
Frenchtony 17
Reminds me of trainspotting, YDI for getting high on heroin !
Ray_of_midnight 23
hahaha nice to know I'm not the only sicko who thought of this!
kidrauhlsimpson 8
That's embarrassing. Fyl for your mom putting you on the spot like that op
WishForTheWorld 9
Well if you're parents are like that then I know the feeling. Plus, it's just family... Worse that can happen is your brother/sister laughing at you and making fun of you
TheDrifter 24
Just toss them in the hall, she'll figure it out without an explanation.
hurley12 30
I've been doing my own laundry since I was 9...
worldclassrager 41
Does it matter if you do some of your laundry later? No matter what happens...
brittyboo123 35
Damn OP. Something similar happened to me. Now when someone in my family has to fart, they say "Oh better wait till I'm in the bathroom, I might pull a Brittney" it's funny, though. Don't let it get to your head. :)
dermor 3
but how does washing your clothes give her the impressing you're whoring it up? I don't see the connection. Do "clean" people wear dirty clothes in her mind?
melody309 35
My guess is that the mom thought she was trying to wash cum off of her clothes without anyone knowing.
djinnyf 12
Sorry you dont deserve it!!! My phone did that!!! And FML doesn't let me undo it!!!!! :(
tehdarkness 21
Your mom is a weirdo. Hope you feel better!