Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning up after my mom visited with her dogs. She'd left a little pill jar on the kitchen counter. Had she forgotten her medicine? It made a weird, soft sound when I shaked it. I opened the lid to shake some pills into my hand, only it wasn't pills. It was two fat ticks. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
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Top comments
_DANTE_ 0
Who chugs a random glass of water lying on their sink in the first place? Gross.
Jupi_fml 2
I want to say you deserve it for not paying attention, but I don't think anyone really TRULY deserves to gulp that down, unknowingly or not.
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Comments (87)
jenntastic 0
vinegar isnt a strong acid its a very weak acid
cosmicparallax 0
YDI for not keeping your house clean enough to prevent fruit flies from invading. If you have any rotting food, beverages or trash lying around, it might be a good idea to take care of it.
kira1kira 0
u catch more flies with honey then vineger! what were u thinking?!
iFail12 0
Hmm....nice FML, but not to be offense, but here is what I have to say. Maggie is my name. But no morning pills for me. I have cats that catch flies...I love my kitties! The taste must have waken you up fast! ;P Again, if it were vinegar, you should have been able to smell it before the cup touched your lips. It may be a weak acid, but it has a strong smell. 0_o
chudzik321 2
Wow I've done the same
catherine42 0
It says it was a dish of vinegar and soap... so how did she mistake a dish for a cup?
Bob31_fml 4
FAKE - no way you could drink vinegar and dish soap - you'd spit it out. Not to mention the smell, long before it got to your lips.
lemonteardrops 0
how hard is it to look at what you're drinking ? we have fruitflies, and this never happens to us . [im with someone xD] just really, if you're even gonna make up an fml do it right , please .
cheetahboo2010 5
Um, eww. How could you NOT tell it wasnt just water?
PurpDOODE 0
EPIC WIN. HILARIOUS.