Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I made a smoothie with all the healthy ingredients I could find. As I took my first sip, I realized too late that I had accidentally blended in a dead fly that had fallen into the blender. FML
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML
Today, I woke up with a hangover and a pounding headache and tried to take an ibuprofen with a glass of water. I missed my mouth and threw the pill directly into my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning up after my mom visited with her dogs. She'd left a little pill jar on the kitchen counter. Had she forgotten her medicine? It made a weird, soft sound when I shaked it. I opened the lid to shake some pills into my hand, only it wasn't pills. It was two fat ticks. FML
Today, I was finishing a bowl of ramen while watching a video. As I scooped up the last bits, I realized the clump of seasoning I had been saving for last was actually a dead fly. FML
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, after I finished dinner, I was getting ready to wash the dishes, but first I needed to take my vitamins. I accidentally gagged myself and puked in the kitchen sink of dirty dishes. I had to clean vomit and the dishes. I vomited my entire dinner. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
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Top comments
_DANTE_ 0
Who chugs a random glass of water lying on their sink in the first place? Gross.
Jupi_fml 2
I want to say you deserve it for not paying attention, but I don't think anyone really TRULY deserves to gulp that down, unknowingly or not.
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Comments (87)
sublime93 0
You totally deserved it, why pick up a random cup and drink it? Nasty
Amkii 0
You washed your pills down with dead flies... and vinegar and dish soap. Don't forget those two. They seal the deal!
ayashe 2
You're getting fruit flies in Canada too? They just started coming out here, those things are so disgusting and annoying. FYL.
zombie_pie 0
you're going to have diarrhea later.
allmidnighteyes 11
I read this as "morning after pills" at first
guilty4associate 0
Should have left a cup of honey out instead. You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Would have tasted better too.
Christina21 2
Thats what you get, if u didnt put the cup there, why drink out of it. and u didnt even bother to look inside of the cup
Effitsbrandon 0
Karma bitch.
His_Phoenix 0
mmm....protein
iloveblackshirt6 0
well at least you got the pills down and didnt barf them up...right?