By Anonymous - 28/10/2020 17:01

Good listener

Today, in a deep depression, on my worst night, I reached out to a lifeline. Waited an hour for the counselor to arrive, listen for a few minutes, then tell me I should, "Get my mind off of it by planning my prom, sewing a dress or painting my nails." The application clearly shows I'm an adult man. FML
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By  lilacgold  |  14

That kind of "advice" wouldn't even acceptable if you happened to be a teenage girl, honestly. FYL for getting such a shitty counsellor whose go-to is apparently "IDK, do (activity someone of your age and gender would stereotypically be into) and cheer the fuck up I guess."

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By  Hempseed  |  23

What does you being a man have to do with anything?

The point I'm making is that why does it matter if a man sews a dress or paints his nails? There are plenty of male fashion designers and makeup artists who defy heteronormative social norms and gender roles, how is this any different?

I think OP should give this new potential hobby a chance before blatantly shooting it down and judging just because it's seen as stereotypically 'feminine'.

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  Hempseed  |  23

Lmao. I did read the post, tyvm.
Some of us aren't bound by ridiculous social conventions but cool.

Personally, I don't see a problem with dudes sewing dresses and painting their nails but I guess that just makes me open-minded. :P

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  Hempseed  |  23

I also personally think prom is stupid and pointless.
Then again, I do come from a country where prom isn't really a thing.

However, just because you don't personally know any men who plan for prom does not mean that there are adult men who do not plan for prom.

By  lilacgold  |  14

That kind of "advice" wouldn't even acceptable if you happened to be a teenage girl, honestly. FYL for getting such a shitty counsellor whose go-to is apparently "IDK, do (activity someone of your age and gender would stereotypically be into) and cheer the fuck up I guess."

By  tido26  |  15

hey, I've been there too. It definitely isn't always going to be easy and there's no magic phrase I can say to fix it, but if you need someone to talk to you can dm me

By  RichardPencil  |  28

That's a perfectly good therapeutic method. Getting you to explore something new will engage new neural pathways which might have sufficient mood-elevating chemicals.

Besides, if you were female, you probably wouldn't have a prom date, so this exercise would be, ... frankly ..., depressing.

By  Chazzster  |  20

OP, I am sorry the helpline was so useless in your case. I urge you to seek professional help. Often your medical doctor can recommend a psychologist, counselor, or psychiatrist. It’s not a quick fix, it takes some time. Sometimes your school or job (via HR, not your boss) can refer you to a counselor. Many churches and other religious organizations have counselors to talk to if you speak with the minister, priest, rabbi or whoever is responsible.

While a mental health crisis can sometimes come on suddenly, the underlying issues are usually much more long term and the healing comes slowly. Treating mental health issues effectively in the long term takes a person with the appropriate training and the right kind of personality. While it’s nice that the person you reached wanted to help, they were obviously not qualified to be doing what they were trying to handle. Sometimes close trusted friends, family, or others with their own experiences with mental health or emotional issues can help get you through a crisis, but you may still need the help of a professional.

I am not mental health professional, just a person who has used their help from time to time when I needed it.