Miscellaneous: Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up.... - FML

By kady - United States

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34850

You deserved it

6612

Tweet

Share

Out of it

BO Central

Walk on the wild side

By Miami6and3 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks

53376

You deserved it

5297

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58795

You deserved it

7730

Tweet

Share

By Gus - Canada - Richmond

Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22210

You deserved it

4934

Tweet

Share

By Groped - United States

Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39684

You deserved it

5240

Tweet

Share

By foreverashamed - Canada

Today, my father decided that since I'm 21 and have never had a girlfriend, he would buy me a book on how to talk to girls. The book is written by a 9-year-old kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33570

You deserved it

6797

Tweet

Share

By stupdude3 - United States

Today, I learned a valuable lesson: Make sure you learn to swim at a very young age, or else you might end up a in a swimming class with a bunch 3 and 4 year-olds, taught by your crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30278

You deserved it

6679

Tweet

Share

By Canuckster - Canada

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10598

You deserved it

57482

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9665

You deserved it

40451

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to wait an hour in the awful rain for my mom to pick me up, because she didn't realize the clocks had gone forward already. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35562

You deserved it

4192

Tweet

Share

By Lyingboyfriend - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57601

You deserved it

3328

Tweet

Share

By EmmaleeSupertramp - United States

Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42628

You deserved it

6951

Tweet

Share

By Jack - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25537

You deserved it

2481

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada - Tracadie

Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38705

You deserved it

6016

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37875

You deserved it

4489

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I noticed a spot on my leg that I wanted a closer look at. I went to put my phone screen towards it for more lighting while my sister was in front of me, looking. I'm pretty sure she saw my nude that I forgot was on the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

596

You deserved it

2238

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/12/2020 06:57 - United Kingdom - Boston

Stuck

Today, I found out that the badly-parked car without MOT, that I chose not to report, has been moved and now blocking my car in. I need to get to the shops and have no idea who the driver is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

649

You deserved it

128

Tweet

Share

By bucollegegirl - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41614

You deserved it

6536

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving in my very own car that I bought and paid for myself, when I stopped at a stop light. Then I noticed the truck in front of me turn on his reverse lights. I honked desperately. He hits me, looks out the window and says "I see no damage" and drives away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62120

You deserved it

3700

Tweet

Share

By IhateThem - United States

Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42959

You deserved it

4690

Tweet

Share

By HDCkid - United States

Today, I met a new client in person for the first time. When I went to shake his hand, it was made of plastic. Startled, I laughed thinking it was a practical joke. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18541

You deserved it

62810

Tweet

Share

By Madridsta - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43815

You deserved it

7802

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - New Haven

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32070

You deserved it

2644

Tweet

Share

By thatoneperson - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27336

You deserved it

5882

Tweet

Share

By Saraitkddh

Today, my friend told me that my brother sent her a picture of his dick. How did she tell me this? By sending me the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3296

You deserved it

271

Tweet

Share

By tanisLX - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to the police station to find out if the tint on my new car's windshield was too dark. The officer took one look, told me that windshield tints are illegal in California, and ticketed me. So much for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36112

You deserved it

9635

Tweet

Share

By Wow - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53814

You deserved it

3283

Tweet

Share

By divineinstrument - United Kingdom

Today, I spent hours and hours trying to figure out why the wireless internet on my laptop wasn't working, but everything I tried completely failed. At the end of the day, my older brother came home, and fixed the problem in under 10 seconds by turning the wireless internet switch on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10570

You deserved it

58282

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Mount Laurel

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

I agree, your life sucks

47778

You deserved it

8036

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31544

You deserved it

2888

Tweet

Share

By alex327 - United States - Dayton

Today, I tapped my sister on her shoulder to get her attention. I guess I was too close to her neck, which is where she is most ticklish, and ended up in the emergency room with a broken nose after she elbowed me in the face. I was just trying to repay her the $10 I borrowed from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22237

You deserved it

2012

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Piedmont

Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29649

You deserved it

38913

Tweet

Share

By PunchingKennyLoggins - United States

Today, the satellite radio at work went on the fritz, playing one song over and over. Management wouldn't turn it off, though, because then customers would miss out on all those upcoming-sale announcements that run intermittently. Meanwhile, I got to listen to "Footloose" for eight hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29284

You deserved it

2474

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29558

You deserved it

5975

Tweet

Share

By anouk05 - Switzerland

Too much Pornhub

Today, my boyfriend told me, "Don't worry, someday you'll be mature as well." By this, he meant that I will be willing to have sex with him in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32662

You deserved it

4626

Tweet

Share

By Rowaelin16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18798

You deserved it

1451

Tweet

Share

By TGIkaty - United States

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43589

You deserved it

3465

Tweet

Share

By wish.was.single - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41839

You deserved it

5641

Tweet

Share

By yourekillingme - United States - Mission

Today, I went to see a doctor because I have been feeling of pressure in my chest. After running numerous tests, I was told I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to worry about. I made it as far as the front door before I collapsed and had to be rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23803

You deserved it

1459

Tweet

Share

By dontgivemechecks - 16/3/2020 14:00

The customer is sometimes devious

Today, I found out that I accidentally returned a customer her $147 check she had written out to pay for her groceries and receive cash back. The lady got free groceries and money, and I'm now losing my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1184

You deserved it

619

Tweet

Share

By mr_loveless - United States

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28224

You deserved it

10635

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By kirakira333 | 0

#755301 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:18

aw... :D how is this a FYL? that's so sweet of him to do that for you :) whether or not he threw up in your hair. you two can take a shower together to wash off ;)

By manbearpig28 | 3

#755278 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:10

ahahahahahahahah

COMMENTS

By manbearpig28 | 3

#755278 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:10

ahahahahahahahah

Reply

_Noon_ | 0

#755373 - Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:05

I was gonna say that :D This is hilarious!

Reply

_cheeseballs | 0

#755395 - Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:16

No need for this FML, seriously.

Reply

rushiee | 0

#988172 - Tuesday 4 May 2010 7:08

ew thats gross as fuck

By trucktwister | 0

#755282 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:12

almost 1st, but you really deserve it.

By Roseicat | 16

#755283 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:12

yummy?

By musicislife1995_fml | 0

#755287 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:14

actually LOL'ing

Reply

RachelBerry_fml | 5

#1654693 - Friday 5 November 2010 18:28

i am 2 it reminds me of tht family guy episode

Reply

OneBigMessUp | 5

#2372548 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:31

lol i love family guy!! ftw

By idkweird | 0

#755299 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:18

ewwwww, fyl :/

By kirakira333 | 0

#755301 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:18

aw... :D how is this a FYL? that's so sweet of him to do that for you :) whether or not he threw up in your hair. you two can take a shower together to wash off ;)

Reply

Fminetoo | 0

#755399 - Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:19

Isnt a rule of thumb that if you puke at a party, your not gonna get any.

Reply

Sun_Kissed18 | 25

#755483 - Tuesday 5 January 2010 0:55

That may be true but they both did so it kinda equals out the grossness? I second that idea #7 ;)

Reply

Fminetoo | 0

#755780 - Tuesday 5 January 2010 3:11

Equals out the grossness, yes, but thats taking the crossing line of kinky and doing a cartwheel over it. lol

By DBkkk | 0

#755302 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:18

Well at least u know what he ate

By kamy24 | 0

#755303 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:18

That made me gag. Just wondering was this on New Years and they just now posted it?

Reply

Cat08Mady04 | 0

#789824 - Friday 22 January 2010 2:28

It takes a bit for these to get moderatedd

By iRuth | 0

#755320 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:28

Ewww. You should have just tied it back.

Reply

Sl1mShad3y | 10

#3254498 - Thursday 8 September 2011 0:44

can you tie hair and puke at the same time?

By ogloc | 0

#755325 - Monday 4 January 2010 23:30

Ok, that IS messed up. However, it seems like this site is now all about girlfriends whining about their boyfriends, or vice versa.