Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was woken up by my cat, who normally doesn't bother me in the morning, meowing desperately and trying to get me to wake up. Fearing that something was very wrong, I jumped out of bed. He gestured for me to follow him, so I did. I followed him all the way to the kitchen, where he proceeded to puke. FML
Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML
Today, I finally convinced my shy new cat to come out from under the bed and hang out with me on the couch. I felt like a true cat whisperer until, in the middle of petting her, she jumped up, knocked over my mug, and spilled hot cocoa all over my book. She then looked at me as if I was the one who messed up. FML
Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML
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Top comments
amyrules99 7
What kind of cat doesn't want a cup of tea?!?!
gTOtheT 7
Yeah I hate it when I overdose and my cat won't take my tea. So rude.
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Comments (188)
KrayKrayGurl117 7
I bet your cat was pretty confused too
210tex 1
My cat would of jumped on me
TheMathMajor 26
*would have or *would've
mizuki123 8
My cat would of jumped on me too.
simonsaysYDI 8
._. I think I'm going to start thumbing down grammar nazis when the sentence they're correcting is still readable. Seriously, some of you guys pounce on errors like they're the last scraps of food in the world. Onwards to change!!!!!
olpally 33
I did thumb down 21... Just read my profile... You'll see why I hate grammar nazis. Lol.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Whenever I do dumb things, my cat gets this look on his face like, "Did you seriously just do that?"
Pandacupcakelove 26
So does mine! And she bangs her head into the wall purposly :/
ant1ion 12
The cats thinking "I don't want to live on this planet anymore"
hahayourmom101 5
Maybe its next life will be betterr?
kzxvazure 0
dude get some sleep :D
SkoomaKi 28
He didn't answer back because you didn't offer him scones! A real English cat can't have just tea.
zainrock 2
Scones? In my 26 years of living in this country I have yet to encounter a single, that's right one single person who thought tea and scones just HAD to be had together...tea is just a hot drink, scones, muffins, cupcakes, biscuits or whatever you like can be had...don't make yourself look like a tunnel vision idiot with assumptions like that
swankmrpancake 8
Glad to know you are an English cat 51 because the comment clearly said English cats can't have just tea
DontModMeDammit 10
51, chill out.
ManInTheMachine 20
Watch out guys, we've got an idiot that can't take a joke. 57- I know, right? I didn't know cats could type out rants like that.
toriarawr 9
Haha exactly!!!!
Spiral_Thoughts 19
51: Allow me to understand. There are horrible stereotypes about people in this world . . . I mean, who likes stereotypes? . . . but the one that most offends you is the tea and scone stereotype? And it is not just you. I've just read several comments complaining of this "misinformation". Seriously people? I'd rather be a presumed teatime lover than a presumed idiot and fatso (to name a stereotype or two).
Skeleton_fml 1
Cats like Vodka. Duh.
Tezoma 28
And so do I. c:
snowboarder531 5
85 You're obviously really cool because you're 16 and drink Vodka.
shots1996 8
Cats are sophisticated. They don't just drink vodka straight. It's gotta be a martini:)
UnionsSuck 5
Must not have been turkey hill tea
kaileylovesyew 4
OP obvoo means hot tea
Shit_talkin_chik 5
Lol. Yeah your life sucks! I hate when my cat doesn't drink her cup of tea!
Shit_talkin_chik 5
**** people really dnt get sarcasm!
couturedoll 7
Well think of it this way- if anyone's around, you're providing them with first class entertainment.
Pandacupcakelove 26
That ungreatful cat! >:(
jenloveslaughs 6
Ungrateful*
Pandacupcakelove 26
Sorry, english is not my first language. My bad.
pavlovaaLOVE 7
25- don't apologies to that idiot.... They don't deserve it. Stupid nazi