Transportation: Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very...

By ifmlftw - 22/06/2011 04:03 - United States

Today, I was sitting next to a lady on an airplane who was very overweight. She fell asleep on me, and violently bled from her nose upon take off and landing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 085

You deserved it 3 058

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Ashleigh - 22/04/2011 18:43 - United States

Today, I was on a three hour flight to Los Angeles for a corporate meeting. The woman next to me instantly fell asleep and snored louder than a freight train, while the kid behind me made a hobby of thashing my seat from behind. When I peered over and asked him to stop, he spat in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 722

You deserved it 3 484

By stutson - 04/06/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, on my airplane ride home, the woman next to me wasn't feeling too well. She pulled out the air sickness bag to throw up into and missed. Her vomit splattered all over the seat in front of her and all over me. We were both covered in puke. And that was only my first of two flights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 886

You deserved it 2 249

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2023 06:00

Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 434

By saltynutz20 - 07/04/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I was on a flight from Chicago to Minneapolis. A rather attractive young lady sitting next to me fell asleep at the beginning of the flight. About 40 minutes into the flight I noticed my fly was open. The lady woke to me with my hands in my crotch struggling to zip up my fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 716

You deserved it 8 046

The strangeness of strangers

By wellalrightythen - 09/02/2015 06:23 - United States - Hobart

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she'd put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right onto my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth and busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 918

You deserved it 2 500

PTSD

By anonymous - 18/06/2010 17:25 - United States

Today, I was on an airplane and had to go to the bathroom. The guy next to me was asleep and blocking the aisle. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he responded by punching me in the stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 320

You deserved it 3 770

Turbulence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 21:30

Today, I had a several-hour-long flight. I was put in a seat at the very back of the plane. Before the plane even lifted off, a woman took a dump in the bathroom that I stank for the rest of the flight. Whenever I tried to get some sleep, the flight attendant walked past, savagely jostling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 102

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 527

You deserved it 2 117

By Anonymous - 22/06/2012 14:11 - United States

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 747

You deserved it 3 725

By planes - 30/12/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 996

You deserved it 2 611

bentleysdad11611 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 12:17

stick a tampax up her nose and enjoy your flight and her reaction

rocker135 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 12:17

shoulda thrown a bucket of KFC out the window shell follow it

Comments

BADDiam 4

Wednesday 22 June 2011 13:52

was she stealing yr food ?

all4pooh 4

Wednesday 22 June 2011 13:54

I don't get why people just sit there and let people sleep on them. it's rude. just wake them up instead of complaining about it

166324 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:05

piss on her

haileybug822 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:08

I gotta ask, why didn't you just wake her up? Were you afraid she would eat you?

TraceCase_ 19

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:08

A stranger bleeding on me = somebody had better find me a new ******* seat...in first class.

taazer 12

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:11

if it was me i would have pushed the bitch away

Samouie_fml 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:33

Slap her face! XD

ndclover 3

Wednesday 22 June 2011 14:46

F Your Life for sure. Imagining what you had to go through makes me want to puke...dunno if I could actually put up with it.

doof234 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 15:09

does she need a diaper now?

saagaru 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 16:03

that's what happens when you try to wake a fat person up by elbowing them in the face

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The Top

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 624

You deserved it 34 713

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 229

The Top

Today, I was rear-ended while heading to my appointment with my physiotherapist. This is the physiotherapist I am seeing to treat the pinched disc I got from being rear-ended 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 389

You deserved it 425

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 202

You deserved it 5 152

Today, my ex-boyfriend convinced my current boyfriend to break up with me because, "Bros before hoes." They met for the first time last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 351

You deserved it 408

Today, I came home to my empty apartment. My girlfriend had left a note on the floor that said: "Took my stuff and left. Took your stuff and pawned it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 848

You deserved it 5 288

Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 288

You deserved it 4 424

Today, after nearly two months of working at my new job, one of my co-workers finally explained to me that the list of tasks that our boss gives me every day are actually HER duties, and as I complete them, she just sits in her office and watches Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 695

You deserved it 2 316