Today, I was relaxing at home while my boyfriend played with his hamster. After a while of silence, my boyfriend came over and put his fingers next to my face. Trying to be cute, I stuck his fingers in my mouth and sucked on them. Turns out he was trying to show me how bad hamster pee smells. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I showed my family my new pet hamster. At the sight of him, my grandmother, who I had no idea hated rodents, let out a loud screech, causing my usually docile hamster to bite me and piss in my cupped hand. FML
Today, my boyfriend told my hamster he loved her. Repeatedly. In 'cute' baby voices. He has yet to say it to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when I asked him to go brush his teeth, since his breath stank. He went back to playing video games. FML
Today, my sister brought her class hamster home from school. Somehow it escaped from its cage, and ran into my room. My boyfriend, thinking it was a mouse, stomped on it. I'm stuck cleaning hamster guts from my carpet, and have to explain to a kindergarten class what happened to their pet. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my new roommate decided to put his pet hamster in the same cage as my beloved hamster. Apparently he wanted them to make hamster babies. They are both males. His hamster attacked mine and tore it to pieces. I just finished cleaning up the mess. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend was being sweet by stroking my hair, only to discover he was getting rid of a booger. FML
Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
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Top comments
laurabev 9
Why would you suck on his fingers??
peete182 0
Dont suck things that have been holding hamsters
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Comments (209)
xmidnightxlonerx 12
Wait wait wait. U wer at home relaxin while your boyfriend was playing with his hampster which assumably would have been at his house. So either you live together or I'm getting the feeling of incest
chemman5 12
or the were hanging out.
kiara20 8
They probably live together. What's so weird about that idea?
iFlipYouOff 2
Suck his fingers = cute? The ****?
NEEPLES 7
Tastes like piss.
Ikickmidgets 11
I guess that's better than trying to jam the poor thing up your ass like Richard Gere....
lajaynay 15
That was a gerbil... Get your celeb fetishes right.
ChristinaAAR 14
Yeah -.- thanks for sharing this with people that were drinking lemonade while reading
WhySoMad 0
Kinky
TipOfTheHat 10
Brush, rinse, repeat!
Metthew 15
When has "sucking on boyfriends fingers" ever been "cute"?! And perhaps you shouldn't have done it even if the hamster hadn't peed on him - it still walks around in it's own "filth", so sucking on his fingers was quite.. disgusting anyway.
cupcakeluver1212 0
Why can't he just say that?
alival 12
Ew! It probably tastes nastier then it smells!!