Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over two years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex-girlfriend who never moved out. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
Today, I moved out a few weeks ago because I was sick of my husband not helping around the house, and told him he’d never manage without me. I checked today while he was at work. The house is the cleanest I’ve ever seen it; apparently he doesn’t need me and most of the mess was actually mine. FML
Today, I came back from a week-long vacation, to find my fiance had cleaned the house top to bottom, and finished three projects he was constantly putting off. I was over the moon, until he said, "Yeah, when you're not nagging me all day, I can actually get shit done. Crazy, huh?" FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me if I'd help clean out his ex-girlfriend's closet. I found their wedding photos. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
You should definitely help him clean his apartment... ...by selling all of his shit before you leave.
zkcupcake 4
Trash it :)
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Comments (98)
perdix 31
Be patient, you'll have him back in a few weeks. You accepted him as the slob he his, but to impress the new lover, he cleaned up his apartment. Soon enough he'll decide it's too much work to keep this new girl happy, and return to you who lets him be his true slovenly self.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
You're probably being sarcastic, but I REALLY hope she doesn't take him back after that!
perdix 31
Sort of, but the OP's "relationship" is not well-defined. They are not married, and it is not clear that they are "exclusive." We don't know what the 2012 rules in Norway are. Years ago, people could casually date several people at once and then they would eventually agree to exclusivity. At that point, dating others would be cheating. Real relationships are messy and involve patience and accepting a certain amount of crap.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I'm norwegian and being in a relationship with more than one person is definitely not accepted here...
Snazzy_Snaz 17
I don't think it's accepted anywhere!
Sasha693 4
I think it can be a personal choice but the fact that they've been together for years makes me think that they are exclusive and his cheating. So I think her leaving him is the best option.
Pandacupcakelove 26
31- Actually, there are some places in the world where it's perfectly normal. Norway isn't one of them.
RedPillSucks 33
As long as all parties agree, there's no problem. But if you have to sneak around.... Problem!!!
sens3sfailing 25
Perdix- there is a reason this is on FML...it ended in FML, not Meh.
mfischer 17
I like when people take Perdix's comments too seriously.
ironwords 8
Try putting all his stuff away, into your fireplace.
Pandacupcakelove 26
At least you found out. Now go out and find somebody who deserves you. Good luck OP.
DinoChicken 3
... And that's how you know when it's time to break up.
PantheraRazorK 5
The funny thing is that his "other lover" could also be a man. Nothing to do here Vrooooommmmm!
zuelhater 7
Thats awesome that your cool with that, your a real catch!
datoismyname 22
She's not...
BunchieRules 31
I don't usually do this, but: there should be an apostrophe for "thats", you used the wrong "your/you're" twice, and the comma should be a semicolon. Apart from that, the comment itself is just stupid.
rebel_belle1974 5
you should introduce yourself to her
MarisaCB 16
Trash it, definitely. Then leave.
dead247 13
Of course that solves everything. Destruction of property and possibly trespassing? Also, to everyone saying "sell his stuff" I would like to think that is illegal. Correct me if I'm wrong.
DocBastard 40
Dead247 - Very well, I shall correct you. In every country on Earth there is a law that states it is legal to sell your significant other's belongings if he or she cheats. The specifics vary slightly from country to country, but the idea is exactly the same. It's true. Don't bother looking it up. Trust me.
MarisaCB 16
I suppose it's a tad rash... and illegal. But when you're angry, and there's that obvious poetic justice... you have to take the chance!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Trash it, and post pictures of yourself flipping him off all over the room.
limitedition 25
Sorry OP Don't give him the satisfaction of a flip out. Buy a new hot outfit, get your hair done, stand tall & carry on. Plenty of fish in the sea.