Intimacy: Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of...

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 087

You deserved it 5 059

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Same thing different taste

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 062

You deserved it 50 972

By Anonymous - 21/04/2016 20:28 - United States - Fremont

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 1 756

By Milly - 30/01/2011 19:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 610

You deserved it 4 083

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 964

You deserved it 7 868

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 732

You deserved it 15 163

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 750

You deserved it 5 898

The Wire

By whorica139 - 02/09/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I told my friend over videochat every explicit detail of what I had in store for my boyfriend later on in the day. I only realized afterwards that her whispering during the story was her way of trying to tell me her dad was in the room listening to the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 683

You deserved it 30 663

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 233

You deserved it 4 970

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 331

You deserved it 3 528

By anon - 15/09/2012 05:35 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 2 724

fosizzlemynizzlE 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 9:50

if he was your best friend, he was probably joking. or maybe me and my friends are just weird and think this is normal

my_fml_account 2

Thursday 18 June 2009 9:33

Was it as good for you as it was for him?

Comments

taylorlynn1125 1

Friday 23 July 2010 6:36

How is that an FML? Maybe he likes your voice, that's a compliment. Stupid...

bcbaby108 2

Tuesday 5 April 2011 4:56

that's a compliment!

DixieBear 0

Friday 13 May 2011 20:58

People, the FML says the friend is a dude, and by the name it says the submitter is a girl.

Broc831 6

Wednesday 3 August 2011 4:51

that adds to the fact that you have been making creeper friends.... •A•

abbynoelle 1

Tuesday 20 December 2011 3:54

I would take that as a compliment. It means you must have a sexy voice!;)

LilTiinyDiamonds 11

Saturday 24 March 2012 7:07

That's good ;)

04282012 0

Tuesday 19 June 2012 22:03

You should be flattered.

mowmowlife 21

Sunday 30 September 2012 6:12

I don't know why all these people are saying 'aw it's a compliment'. You guys were best friends and then he quite possibly usurped your relationship. If he actually has the hots for you and you somehow feel similarly, that's fantastic, but otherwise that would potentially screw a previously stable friendship.