Intimate moments and Intimacy: Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little...

By Ummm - 03/08/2016 19:45 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I was on a second date with a guy. Things got a little handsy and he pulled down his pants to reveal a micro-penis. He then smiled and asked me to be his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 138

You deserved it 2 892

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Unlucky - 25/07/2012 13:03 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I went on a fifth date with a guy, and he asked me if we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. Just after I said yes, he pulled out a contract and asked me to sign on the dotted line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 863

You deserved it 3 617

Contortionist

By Anonymous - 30/07/2022 14:00

Today, I had a date with a guy I’ve known casually for a few weeks. Everything was OK, until he asked me to come back to his place because he had something “to share with me.” Apparently, he’s double jointed, because his mouth reaches below his waist. He even finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 26/01/2013 17:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 353

You deserved it 47 318

Subjective

By whyyyyy - 17/05/2020 23:00

Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 731

You deserved it 470

By Kylee Day - 27/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 529

You deserved it 402

Small is beautiful

By dickless wonder - 21/10/2023 10:00

Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 170

Pure class

By DanceOnTheEdge - 20/07/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 684

You deserved it 19 382

Small guy

By no luck chuck - 09/10/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, I knew I was a small guy and finally about to get laid for the first time in years. Everything was going great, until she got my pants off. She stared at it, stared at me, stared back at it and said, "Yeah, that’s not gonna happen." Got dressed and left. Sadly this has happened many times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 781

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 694

You deserved it 18 636

By Sl3vin - 19/01/2010 14:17 - United States

Today, I went on a third date with a guy, hoping that maybe finally I would get some physical interaction. I did. I got a high five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 421

You deserved it 6 843

baxeh 29

Thursday 4 August 2016 10:14

He shouldve asked before showing you his tiny penis. What a lovely unsatisfying relationship that couldve been

HyperTek 16

Thursday 4 August 2016 10:19

Two words. Second, date.

Comments

LAURA_EL_JUICE 6

Thursday 4 August 2016 19:35

Can he atleast work it?

RainbowSuperStar 5

Thursday 4 August 2016 20:11

I would have said no just for the level of creepiness...

MrGarrett26 11

Thursday 4 August 2016 20:13

and? if you like him before then that shouldn't matter.

species4872 19

Thursday 4 August 2016 20:42

Shrinkage Elaine, it shrinks when it's cold.

CBL88 25

Thursday 4 August 2016 20:51

"If you like him, it shouldn't matter" - well, if you can't feel your boyfriend inside you, it DOES matter. If you can't even feel that you're having sex, what's the point? And, unless you're not into sex at all, yes, it matters. Big time

Zelda9678 11

Thursday 4 August 2016 20:57

F your life because he was that forward. But you deserved it because the micro - size penis instantly ruined it for you, and YDI because you got handsy in the first place on only the second date.

Elban 20

Thursday 4 August 2016 21:44

Did he drive a big truck?

fishnutts 6

Thursday 4 August 2016 21:51

It's simple, size does matter.....an he has no game. Props to him for the upfront honesty.

DoomedGemini 37

Thursday 4 August 2016 22:39

Honestly I'm a bit put off by this FML. I read it as you were both getting hot and heavy and him having a "micropenis"(if you're not exaggerating) was the issue. If he just pulled it out suddenly, I definitely agree run away. But everyone sneering over dick size seems pathetic to me. Sex is important to many people, sure, but it's not an indicator he won't please you and it's horrible to make fun of and sneer over something they can't help.

KingDarsh 5

Thursday 4 August 2016 22:45

i just gotta ask is this any different than a guy not being with a woman because of weight,small breasts or anything based on outward appearance?

sparkledoge 29

Friday 5 August 2016 13:17

Yes it is. If the guy really has a micro-penis chances are he can't use it at all, yes there are other ways to please a woman but the fact he just pulled his pants down is screaming "i fully rely on my penis". He might not be able to have children either, which can be a huge issue depending on OP's age and what type of relationship she's looking for. So yes, it's very different.