By wolfwolfy - 13/03/2010 07:18 - Canada
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i think he didnt pay because you werent cute enough lol truth hurts
shouldn't always expect the guy to pay. bring money as a precautionary measure. some guys are like that. I honestly think the guy should pay, unless the girl purposely orders something really expensive, only eats 1/3 of it then expects him to pay. even so, it's not right for girls to pay their own way on a date. I'm not being sexist or saying girls are inferior, I just believe it's the right thing to do
And you are telling us that the restaurant you went to didn't take credit/debit? I doubt it. OP, YDI anyways for expecting that your date would pay for meal. It was your first date and now your date has a good idea of what kind of girlfriend you could be. (One that expects him to pay for everything.) Congratulations.
Actually, I know of a few nice places to eat that only take cash. Some are upscale, others are local/organic type places, but they all have really good food. Granted, a meal there is likely to run you more than $6, but cash-only places do exist nonetheless. That being said, who goes out anywhere without bringing some cash? What if the date goes terribly wrong and you need to call a cab? What if he accidentally left his wallet at home? It would be a bit lame, but honest mistakes happen to people. I don't even feel like diving into gender relation issues, it's just a matter of looking out for oneself. She shouldn't have been there without a way to pay for anything, period.
Here's a sentence I never figured on saying in my life: I agree with Seal Clubber. I think whoever asked should pay in dating unless they make it clear it's Dutch. That being said, I would never order anything I didn't have the cash to cover. Gender roles and dating are so complicated that it's not safe to assume the other person knows how you feel and agrees with you. If you expect the man to treat, OP, don't go out with him again. Simple.
Dutch in the default (with sensible people, at least). Even if you're unemployed, you still pay for your share. It's called responsibility. I have to say I have never had the misfortune of dating a woman who expected me to pay her share and didn't bother to bring money, although if I did I would end it after the first date, then remind her that she owes me for her half of the bill. If she did genuinely forget and pays the debt, I might give her another chance, but only if she's cool about it acts like an adult instead of being surprised that she's expected to pay a debt. If she gets all pissy, I'm gone. I want nothing to do with a person who's not mature enough to talk about money and handle her own finances and handicaps herself by making herself dependent on men. Paying for someone's meal is a gift, not an entitlement. So yeah, OP deserves it for buying into this gender socialization bullshit.
It's funny when women want equality, but then things like this are a problem for them. Why should he have to pay for her? Why didn't she pay for him instead? Or is that equality thing a one-way street? Unless he told her he was going to pay for her, he is not obligated to do so. Personally, I would have paid for the salad, but that's not the point.
and to add, if you asked him out you COMPLETELY deserved it. did you ever think that maybe he didn't have enough money to pay for your large meal his large meal and the salad you ordered because your too fat to just have a single meal? maybe he was just too embarrased to say it. if I was a guy I would be too. jeez bitches these days
hey Amy Marie bitch. I would like you to explain where the hell it says that she JUST ordered a salad. just because she didnt add that she ordered a meal too doesnt mean she didnt. don't call me a fatass when you can tell in your picture that your a whale. yes the picture Is small but i can still see your double chin. your the moron for being a hypocrite. why don't you get off fml and go to the gym hoe
I went on a date this one time and as soon as we sat down at the table, these guys in suits burst through the window, tasered my date, and hit me in the back of the head, knocking me out. I woke up two days later in the bathroom of an Arby's, wearing a Power Ranger costume. I went on a date not suspecting anything, and look what happened? Bad advice there.
Yea, but you KNOW HIM. There is nothing on here that says Op knew the guy well before hand. I have been on dates and I pay for myself. Mostly as a sign to the guy that I don't see it going anywhere, because the boys who have asked me out tend to be old fashioned and pay for the girl. But I have been out on dates with more 'modern' guys and I still pay my way, though (if I like him) I make sure he knows I had a wonderful time and would like to go out again. If a girl insists upon paying, sometimes it shows the guy you aren't interested. But I always have money and I tell them, "I was raised to pay my way." Sometimes they will look uncomfortable and insist on paying. In that case, more power to them. I will not let someone pay/pay for someone if I did not enjoy the date. The guy probably thought Op was a terrible date and never wanted to see her again. His actions say that he probably thought she wasn't his type and wasn't going to endear her to him. Expecting a guy to pay is rude and inconsiderate, especially on a first date. Friends are different, you will eventually, at some point, pay them back by doing them favors or paying for their own meals.
LOL you fail for actually keeping track of it. What is this, a scorecard? Who cares who asks out who, you're on a date, make it work. Stop trying to follow some stupid script and just enjoy yourself. Kudos to OP's date for respecting her enough to expect a little independence and maturity from her. FAIL to OP for disappointing him.
The only problem with this 50s way of thinking is that back then if a man bought dinner he would expect something in return, which is also wrong. When going on a date you should expect nothing more than if you're going out with a friend. This means no free food and no sex. Having said that I do think it's pretty tacky that the guy didn't offer to pay just as it's tacky that she expected him to.
175 you may think sponging off your dates is working for you but in reality you're just racking up debt. 9 times out of 10 an "old-fashioned gentleman" isn't being generous, he's expecting something (read: buttsecks) in return and following a script that left women handicapped and dependent for centuries. It's disrespectful behaviour and it's the product of a disrespectful mind raised in a disrespectful culture. The only people that get free rides are children. Don't devalue yourself by expecting to be treated like a child, a man should not be "providing" for you, nor should he be "taking you out", and you shouldn't be chained to him for your meal and at his whim, stroking his ego in the hope that he'll throw you another bone when he feels like it. Even if you think you're milking him for a free meal, the fact remains that you're placing yourself in a dependent role and submitting to him. Good god woman, grow a spine. He's not your daddy and you're not his "girl". You're a grown woman now fucking act like it.
Women who can take care of themselves are trash ? I don't care how much of a "pro-choice liberal" you claim to be, that statement alone proves you have no understanding of gender equality what so ever. Sorry, honey, you're no princess. Learn to take care of yourself, be a strong independent woman, and not some spoiled little brat, then come back and try to pretend you understand what's going on.
I think it's perfectly fair that if a guy is supposed to buy a girl dinner on a first date, the next date she should cook him dinner and have sex with him afterward. After all, why shouldn't a woman treat a man the way he'd expect her to? Fucking chicks think they're entitled to be treating like ladies because they're ladies. I treat women with respect because I respect women, not gender roles.
I'm always thrown by this "treat a lady like a lady" idea. I'm sorry, but I don't think paying for a woman means he's treating her like a lady. Nor do I need some one to fish out cash to prove my femininity. A gentleman isn't a gentleman just because he's willing to spend money. there's far more to that equation. I am a lady, but that doesn't mean I expect a man to prove his worth through monetary means. It also doesn't mean I'm trashy or want to be treated like trash just because I believe in equality.
Whoa. So much hate. I think this problem would be solved if people talked to the people they dated more. It is hard to tell what someone is going to be like after just an hour or two. Yes, it sucks that the guy didn't pay, but it could just mean he was giving Op the subtle sign that he wasn't going to ask her out again. If Op and him had really gotten along, he would have wanted to make a good impression and would have paid for her, unless he said "This is embarrassing, I am short the six dollars for your salad, can you go to the ATM..." And friends, good friends, often treat each other out for dinners. The only reason Op should have expected him to pay for her, is if he has done if before, or he said he would. Never expect a complete stranger to do you any favors, because no matter how cute the guy seems there are a lot of assholes out there who will ditch you if you don't give out or think paying for your meal means free pussy pie after dinner. The best way is to offer to pay your half and then if he insists then put your wallet away and thank him and offer to pay for the next date. This way, you show him you are independent, mature and have a way to provide for yourself. No one, even in nature, wants some lame clinger. Wolves want someone who can provide for themselves. Lions let the women hunt. If you want to be independent, then you have to act like you give a crap for someone other than yourself.
it's pretty disrespectful to expect the man to pay. he owes you nothing. expect to contribute as much as he does, and If he pays, be happy. there is no reason for men to be obliged to pay for women on a date in today's society. If you leave a date because the guy doesnt pay, you're a much more at fault than he is, and you're downright rude. 35, I love your logic and wish more girls were like you
Women are too confusing. I don't understand how you can be all for equality and expect us to treat you like the most independent people and not treat you like a lady should be treated. But then you turn around and expect us to open all the doors for you and pay for you and show chivalry. Don't get me wrong, I'm for equality and chivalry, and I am a gentleman when it comes to that stuff, but it bothers me how women try to manipulate the system like this so they have every advantage. Or that's at least how it seems to me.
@44 She definitely should have had the money on her just in case and perhaps not have expected him to pay for her. However, if she didn't have the money at the moment and he did, the courteous thing to do on his part would have been have shelled out the six bucks and have her pay him back after they left and found an ATM together. I think the guy's a douche for not helping her out and that she needs to learn to come better prepared.
But honestly? It was six bucks. To me, that doesn't send the message that she's a bitch and expects him to pay for everything. My friends spot me when I'm short on money and I pay them back. They don't stand there and make me go searching everywhere for an ATM. If you get up and leave on every girl who makes a mistake, then you are one high maintenance guy.
Twigs, it's not the $6 that makes her a bitch. It's the fact that she clearly went into the meal with no money, bought something she knew she couldn't afford, waited until the bill hit the table before saying anything, and then got angry at the guy for calling bullshit on her. There's a difference between saying, "I'm short on money, can I order something and then pay you back?" and saying, "WTF you're not going to pay for my meal?!?"
I've already admitted that she should have brought the money. That is a given when going on the date. However there might also be circumstances which we don't know about. There are truly about a million things that we might not now about the situation. For all we know, she might have had no time to take out money before hand.
What we do know is that she didn't bring the money, but after he made her go searching for an ATM, she still paid. If she were a true bitch she probably would have left. Sitting there while a girl is struggling to find an ATM makes him a douche, I don't care what way you look at it. He's a douche. Even if she was a "bitch" which I honestly don't suspect she was, he could have had some class. His douchery just made the situation worse.
why u guys bashing the lady? maybe she did intend on the fact she was paying for herself except she didn't know the place was so shitty that they didn't accept debit or credit. hence the ATM hunting AND $6 salad. if she did not intend to do do, she wouldn't even bring her wallet or credit card at all! so stfu u haters who thinks she deserve it. use your fucking brains and think for once. and the guy is a POS for not even offering to pay on the first date.
119 - he's a POS for not offering to pay on the first date? Maybe he didn't like her. Maybe he is at a financial rough patch in his life and can not afford to pay for the both of them. I feel bad for guys because of people like you. They should not feel obligated to have to bend over backwards to have to pay for the women. Whenever my fiancé and I go out, we take turns paying for everything. Because that is the fair and right way to do so. You are probably one of the most ignorant people I have ever met.
Never expect anything on a first date.....duh
Why do you expect the guy to pay on the first date? You obviously had no intend of paying, so you left your money home in case he did not pay for you. But boohoo he didn't anyway. Also, you sound like a girl that only orders a salad and then eats half the food of other peoples plates.