Animals: Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener...

By Noname - 02/02/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 810

You deserved it 7 058

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Same thing different taste

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 670

You deserved it 9 391

By FrozenAnonymus - 14/07/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 1 520

Alarm

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 14:26 - United States

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 583

You deserved it 4 007

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 581

By Swabidizop - 18/05/2015 20:40 - United States - Greeley

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 042

You deserved it 8 048

By anonomys - 05/09/2011 19:19 - Canada

Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 277

You deserved it 10 111

Stealth dog

By Anonymous - 02/06/2020 02:00

Today, while I was sitting in a waiting room to be seen, my service dog (who was tucked under the bench I was sitting) let out the most vile, silent but deadly fart. The person near me retched and heaved, and I got death glares while someone sprayed their old lady perfume to mask the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 226

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 8 455

By phillyfan4life - 21/02/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 808

You deserved it 28 452

By Brinty - 16/09/2009 02:43 - Australia

Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 679

You deserved it 4 556

malarky 0

Monday 2 March 2009 7:19

i seriously lol'd when i read that.

tiki_92090 0

Friday 13 February 2009 7:08

that is all dachshunds do. :)

Comments

Euro_2 0

Saturday 6 March 2010 5:34

lol..that's cute my dog does that all the time, they just know when the moment is right

OhGodNotAnother1 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 2:59

ew I would have given the dog it's least favorite treat after that...

Nitsuaaa 6

Wednesday 16 June 2010 23:01

ahahahahaha. awesome.

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

Wednesday 28 April 2010 18:40

Your left ear? Well, dang! FYL indeed. If it was your right ear it wouldn't have mattered, but your LEFT ear? Now THAT sucks.

RyGan 0

Friday 28 May 2010 4:08

you make me "lol" =D

crazy_lil_thing 0

Thursday 8 July 2010 6:33

haha! that's frickin great.

skyttlz 32

Sunday 18 July 2010 6:15

#18 made me laugh

rzbt21 0

Monday 30 August 2010 7:42

because you TOTALLY smell from your left ear

lailax3 0

Thursday 30 September 2010 19:37

awwwww :)

lemonlife 0

Tuesday 5 October 2010 22:58

at least you have friends

TriAft 4

Thursday 17 March 2011 2:10

I still think that's cute. ^.^

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Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 813

You deserved it 2 837

Today, a person I've never met called me a whore and spat on me. Why? Because I was babysitting for my neighbors and answered the door for two well dressed women passing out religious pamphlets. I politely declined to take any. Apparently being a 15 year-old girl caring for a toddler makes me a sex worker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 59

The Top

Today, at my hotel, I spent over an hour dumpster diving trying to locate a pair of shorts for a spoiled brat that one of the cleaning staff accidentally threw away. When I finally found and returned them to the family, the father insisted they weren't the right ones. Spent all day smelling of trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 125

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 807

You deserved it 11 818

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 355

You deserved it 79 643

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 151

You deserved it 4 492

Today, I told my supervisor that I want to do the work I was hired to do, which is Data Engineer. He told me he doesn't have the workload for another data engineer, and needs someone with people skills. He's very happy with the current situation. I left my previous job because of the same problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 91

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 937

You deserved it 3 391

Same thing different taste

Alarm

Vicious dog

Stealth dog

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