Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML
Today, I was getting out of the shower and realized I’d forgotten to lock the bathroom lock. I heard someone coming towards the door and panicked. I hid behind the curtain and tried to stay completely still, but my dad walked in, saw me standing there like a statue, and just said, “Oh, erm, I’ll come back later.” FML
Today, I spent minutes trying to open my apartment door before realizing I was one floor above my own. My terrified neighbor watched me struggle with my keys through their peephole the entire time, until he yelled "I'M CALLING 911!" and I realized where I was. FML
Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, after waiting to get home to go to the bathroom, my six year old neighbor popped out and literally scared the shit out of me. FML
Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML
Today, my mom screamed my name five times while I was on the toilet. When I was done, I went to her and she said, “Why the FUCK did you not immediately drop what you were doing and rush to help me with the dishes?” Apparently, the fact that I was pooping wasn’t a good enough excuse. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
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Top comments
Rinat_fml 26
Always. Remember. The towel. This almost happened to me once.
person961 9
I wouldn't be surprised if your neighbor came to your door everyday from now on
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Comments (66)
Narayan96 13
Trolling at a early age
abattior 18
Your daughter cannot distinguish emergencies and and simple tasks >.
YourProblemsSuck 2
shes 7 dude...shes probably been taught never to ralk to strangers so when she saw a stranger at the door she panicked
Im2Shy 16
Did your neighbour at least tip you for the free show you provided?? This is why my robe is always in the bathroom.
devildog562 33
Better be careful asking for a tip with no clothes on. Giggity.
Im2Shy 16
Thanks for the pointer Quagmire, lol.
Acid1260 21
I bet your neighbor had planned that.
worldclassrager 41
Didn't a towel cross your mind or maybe calling back what's the matter wouldn't have been a bad idea
jmcr 27
She's said her daughter SCREAMED for her help then its easy to assume that it was an emergency. I'd do the same if i thought my kid was danger screw modesty at that point. Also simply calling back while assuming the worst isnt something mostly caring parents would think about, they'd think about getting to their child as fast as possible
thinblue32 15
That's one way to get to know your neighbors.
FML_14u2c 14
If she was a MILF, the neighbor was in for a treat. (If not, what was seen cannot be unseen...)
keiNan_fml 35
your neighbour might need some help to forget what s/he saw
Frostillicus123 10
I'm in the process of teaching my five year old to stop using Tim to Tim and coming svc getting us. good luck
vikky538 29
kids...they are cute..keeping us in trouble always...