Today, I was in a bad mood after being stuck in traffic for 2 hours and late for work. I was walking to my building when I saw a 100 dollar note flying my way. A man called after me for it, but being selfish I took the note in my pocket as a little reward. That man was my boss. Yes, I'm fired. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML
Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML
Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML
Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML
Today, I walked into my boss's office to ask for a raise, and walked out unemployed. FML
Today, I was starting my new job in the city. A man with a torn suit on came up to me and asks me for spare change. In a hurry to catch a taxi, I declined and rushed to catch one. At the office, my boss was late. About an hour later, I found out the man in the suit was my boss. He was attacked. FML
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Top comments
illwill514 0
that's stealing. ydi for sure
mister_moops 0
wow, you asshole.
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Comments (366)
horniness 4
omg, just look, the ******* are still here. so retarded, and hongkonger, **** you for calling me a thief
horniness 4
LOL lacey ur a **** and britney spears!!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Yep, you convinced us. You just called your other account a thief, so now we believe it isn't really you cheering yourself on from the sidelines. Oh, now Lacey's Britney Spears, too? So that makes me, Lacey, and Mushrooms all Britney Spears...I'm starting to lose count.
ManUpFucker 0
Even if you weren't Hongkonger...you are a thief, you called yourself a thief!
Witchcraft_fml 5
Um, yeah. Don't get mad at people for calling you a thief when in FACT you are by definition certainly a thief. If you'll read, horniness, almost every single comment from everybody replying to your FML is calling you a thief and telling you that you deserved to get fired.
hongkonger 0
finally. manupfucker have finally realized the difference between a third rate son of a bitch and a half dead patient in hospital waiting for MRI.
ManUpFucker 0
Wanna know why I think you and hongkonger are the same people. No one uses panning, its not a real world. You mean pinning. Hongkonger just used it as badly as you did. This is an older post by horniness. bet ur unemployed as well. spending precious time -->panning me with words i've already gotten used to. i bet u work as a low pay clerk in an office building, or u serve as a waiter/waitress? just to tell u if i hadnt got ******* fired i would have more salary than your daddy and his dad's.
horniness 4
LOL i am not the fuckass. but i know u are the same people, and trying to criticize your other account so you can make me think differently. and panning is a word, check the dictionary. omg just how retarded can u get?
hongkonger 0
Manupfucker, for the umpteenth time i am not horniness. Panning is a word, andi used it correctly. Hong kong people use it a lot, and i mean a lot, especially in movie reviews where the critics criticise the director and other actors. Horniness, before i didn't think you were such an ass. But after hearing you i take sides with manupfucker. You are lame. Your insults are not effective. Calling me names make you more a jackass, you ******* dumbass. I actually was kind of on your side, but frankly, Hong kong would do a lot better without you.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Obviously you've shown us just how retarded a person could get, horniness.
RubixMonkey 0
Wait, how are we the same person. BTW my iPhone says hello, they are so useful. Just always wanted to say that.
Witchcraft_fml 5
It must be, because now we apparently all look like Britney Spears, Lacey! Except Rubix, who apparently looks like Ugly Betty! Who does ManUpFucker look like? We all need a character so that we can create our own sitcom.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Although I'm wondering how we're going to play that out if Lacey and I are BOTH Britney Spears...?
ManUpFucker 0
I look like Hikaru! Or I hope I do. I did work hard on that stupid costume.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Yes, but it has to be someone you completely DON'T look like. Lacey is Japanese and doesn't resemble Britney in the slightest. So you must be Justin Timberlake, Ryoga. :]
ManUpFucker 0
Sweet! I don't think I look anything like him... then total win.
Witchcraft_fml 5
Hell yeah! XD
Witchcraft_fml 5
We MUST all be the same person, Rubix. How else would you explain all the hate coming at horniness from all sides?
horniness 4
woah, the retardeds have escalated the comments to 324! and obviously i am retarded by even talking to you... really.
ManUpFucker 0
you admit you pocketed the money and didn't look back when someone was calling for it. THIEF
hongkonger 0
who is ryoga?
hongkonger 0
.... british people. i've met a lot of you here. You can go about and be dumb. But for the last time if i was horniness i'd go murder myself because frankly he's given me so much laughter in the past hour my blood pressure is up.
Witchcraft_fml 5
ManUpFucker.
hongkonger 0
enligtened? i should i feel more despicable then enligtened. now that i know hong kong is a place for assholes.
hongkonger 0
if you keep calling me that son of a bitch who eats shit for all three meals, really my blood pressure is going to peak.
hongkonger 0
i can, and by saying "i am not horniness" for over twenty times, i am not being sarcastic, just for the sake of your interpretation.